D Day for the 5th time and it’s still no better than the first time. I feel emptiness...
I keep hoping at some point I will get used to it...but I’m not. I think I’m learning to cope a little better and maybe better prepared mentally for it...but the emptiness and loneliness just hurts more. Even when I know it’s coming...the pain is still horrible. My air has been taken from me and I feel like I am slowly suffocating.
I have planned out my days to ensure I won’t just sit, cry and stare at the wall begging for the time to hurry and bring him back to me. I will be productive...and I will try and curb the tears to a minimum. He suggested I look at it as a really really long day...and the nights as my naps until he comes home to me.
I can do this...I am his and he gives me strength. Time to start the countdown....17 days....
Until tomorrow...
