14 more days...
I’m so ready for this period apart to be over. I need him. Maybe I’m just being a spoiled brat and pouting...but I feel so different this time. Maybe he does too...maybe that’s what caused a little thing to get blown out of proportion yesterday. Leaving us both stubborn and frustrated.
I realize that I’m that sappy person that wants that positive attention a lot. I know that my fairytale vision of a relationship sometimes plays my emotions. It makes me forget that he is human and a strong man...it makes me forget that he has emotions and a temper. The perfect relationship that we have is exactly what I want....I just have to remind myself sometimes that perfection is always in the eye of the beholder... sometimes the beholder has a hard time seeing the flaws...especially if they are their own.
I still want it all. I want all of it...the ups the downs...the highs and lows. I just have to find a way to not self destruct when it’s not exactly perfect. To understand and be patient when things get a little dicey...not shut down and crawl inside myself. I want to learn the “he still loves me even though he is upset”.
We are learning more about each other every day...which means we also have to learn how to argue with each other or have disagreements. Both of us...not just me. Understand how it’s healthy to show each other all of the emotions...even the not so pretty ones...and love each other through learning how to respond to those emotions. Remembering that this is not the same as in the past...this is the real love we have both been waiting for.
It’s worth it to keep learning...the good and the not so good about each other. He’s worth it...I’m worth it. Our love is worth it...
Until tomorrow...
