Without Him Day 13
I have a serious problem with obsessing over personal perfection. It’s with all things...at work, the way I put on my makeup, how I do my hair, the way the line in your socks line up on your toes, etc. Mostly the things that are directly a reflection of my performance of anything!
It’s a blessing and a curse. It gives me beautiful focus to be creative, great smelling laundry, beautiful eye makeup, and great handwriting. The unfortunate part of it is when things are looking like you are doing good or I’m not able to make something go right...it’s almost debilitating. It’s extremely hard to factor in all of the outside influences that effect any goal or plan you set. And it’s even harder to just go with the flow when there is a perceived view of personal failure.
I set an extremely high expectation for myself...and the idea of not being successful at anything that I want to succeed at...is hard. This is something I do to myself...and I recognize that and I’m trying to be more “go with the flow “ with myself. It’s a process...
I’m thankful for my Daddy and that he try’s to help ease my anxiety about things and helps me relax by just talking me through some of my frustrations. Just listening to him helps me see things differently....or realize that I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill. It’s strange how most things I’m so relaxed at...and others I become obsessed with...there’s no in between! Lol
Until tomorrow...
