Advice
A young girl that works for me has been struggling with her boyfriend and how she wants to proceed with their relationship. Over the past week or so I have seen and talked with her about all the different “stuff” she has been going through with him. This morning she came in all bright eyed and happy. I asked her what was going on...she proceeded to tell me about how she had gone out with friends and met someone new. She had spent the night with this new person and was still in the stages of euphoria. She then tells me how she is feeling guilty about her boyfriend...even though she and him were on a break.
I asked her if she wanted my opinion. She said yes...so I proceeded to tell her. I told her how I thought it was interesting that the first time she told me about her boyfriend that she described him in a way that was sympathetic and defensive. How she described all the things that she didn’t really like about him and then defended why he was like that. I didn’t know him and probably would never meet him...so why tell me about him like that? The way I saw it was she didn’t really like him even if she loved him and was defending her decision of keeping him as her boyfriend to someone that it didn’t matter...or was she just trying to convince herself?
I then began talking to her about deciding for herself about what she wouldn’t settle for. About no staying with someone because they need you...and how true love means you need each other and you want to do everything to support each other...not one sided. And not allowing yourself to settle for basic when you want amazing. But also to make sure you are brutally honest with the other person about what you need.
I also explained some of my past and how I had wasted years with someone that I was settling for...just because I was nice....and how much happier I am now that I am with the true one. But to be good for your one...you have to be honest with yourself.
I hope it works out for her...and she can see that there is so much more to life...and that she needs to test the waters a little more and give herself a chance to find her true one.
Until tomorrow...