Master spent most of the day in the vehicle which allows him to talk to me most of the day...either through regular cellphone conversations or via video calls. I look forward to days like today when he is away because I am off and can focus all of my attention on him and these precious calls. I can see his eyes, his lips and the way he looks at me. It also gives me the opportunity to talk to him about my role and what he expects.
My rules are new and technically have not taken full effect. He is allowing me to get use to the rules before they are in full effect. For the most part I am so excited to please him and be under his control. The other part of me is extremely nervous that I am going to displease him and he will take away my collar and leave (there are more imaginative ways I could state how this happens...but we will leave it at that).
I think that in the past I have always been in control of how the emotion goes in a relationship. I mean if I didn't like it...I shut it down...and that was it. I now have opened myself to be the one to be controlled...not to control....and it leaves me very unsteady of where I stand. Even though this is what I want more than anything. I want him to control me...I want to worship his body and his mind.
I trust him completely and look forward to each day that he takes more control over me. I want him to tell me exactly what he wants and how he wants it. I also need him to correct me if I am doing it wrong...and punish me if I don't listen.
I also need to be adored by him. I need to be wanted and loved by him. Its more than something I want...for the first time in my life I feel like it is something my soul needs. Every part of my body perks up with even just the sound of his voice...
With each passing day my body aches more without his touch. I crave to have his body in my hands, my mouth...inside of me. I crave the marks he leaves on my body...they remind me I am his. I dream about his eyes looking into mine as he takes me...the sweet pain of him pawing at my skin while his cock pulses inside of me...taking me to extreme pleasure and driving my body to convulse. I miss him...I want him every minute of every day.
We are still 11 days away...My body is waiting patiently for him... and my soul grows happier everyday he calls me his...
Until tomorrow.