I'm going to loose my mind if I see another post floating around the internet that by NOT providing aftercare is a red flag.
So many think that you will instantly get it after playing with no prior discussion. That is not the case. Aftercare should be discussed during the vetting process. Aftercare should be discussed during negotiations. It needs to be talked about BEFORE you play!!!!
Aftercare is not the same for everyone. Everyone is different in the type of care they want to receive. For me personally, throw a bottle of water at me and let me go because I'm like a 2 year old on a sugar high bouncing off walls. Just need to make sure I'm not mowing the lawn at 2am naked. Some like cuddles while some just want alone time with their favorite tunes. Everyone is different including the Tops.
Not all tops/Doms/Masters/Sadists provide Aftercare especially if they are not playing with a regular partner. Some will even tell you that you will need to find someone else to provide it. Whether it's another Dom or friend or Sub. And that is OK. Why it's so important to talk about it early on. It's not a frickn red flag if they don't. It doesn't make them fake, abuser or what other names they are called these days. It might be a hard limit for them. Don't know unless you ask.
It is the responsibility of the bottom/sub to openly communicate what type of Aftercare they will be needing and if their play partner can provide it. If they can't give you what you need then you need to make the decision if it's someone you want to play with. Your choice...
Final thought.....
Don't complain what you didn't get if you didn't communicate what you needed. Don't expect certain experiences that you didn't negotiate for.
Vent over.....
