My partner enjoys hurting me emotionally
He feels pleasure in destroying me physically and especially emotionally
i can take the physical pain for the most part
but the mental pain is really affecting me
im conflicted since it seems to me that W/we developed feelings towards each other.
His emotional sadism is affecting me mentally
it has become a scary game for me
How Can He Love ME And Still Enjoy Seeing Me Emotionally Suffering???????
this does not feel sane
is this a red flag????
it is a red flag because
Emotional Sadism from someone you love without consent is a particularly damaging form of abuse.
You need to have it put on hold while you figure it out and decide if its for you.
if emotional sadism is a must have for the Dominant then that is what it is and you may need to walk away.
You shouldnt have to push yourself beyond what is comfortable for you to stay in a relationship that in the end wont be mutually satisfying and healthy for you.
Emotional Sadism is edge play and it needs to be CONSENTED to. And remember everyone has areas of their inner self where its too painful for them to be hurt. its just too hurtful.
THE most dangerous thing would be for someone to consent to something (any form of play) that isnt good for them in order to stay in a relationship.
STOP the emotional sadism in the relationship indefinitely (and accept it might be for forever). And this means that the Dominant is going to have to be able to enjoy the relationship wtihout it.
it should NOT be a goal for you to be able to be okay with some level or form of their sadism so that you can continue to have a relationship with them. Accept that you are not compatable for a healty relationship with them and move on.
unless you really feel that you enthusiastically want to experience emotional sadism....it should probably be a hard limit
And some will call the emotional sadism a mindfuck,but damaging anyone emotionally crosses a line
Of course you may have to accept that someone like this will never explain themself. And You may need - in order to move on...to be able to accept the apology that they will never ever give you.
Dont forget as a sub you are entitled to have needs, wants and feelings.
Your mental health and well being is important. It may be necessary for you to take steps to protect yourself from an emotional sadist. Do whatever it takes. be smart
If it ever gets to the point where the Dominant cant or wont take care of you (sex, aftercare, emotional etc) remember it is YOUR responsibility to take steps to take care of yourself.
Love is not enough on its own. Remember its easier and faster to heal from most BDSM Physical wounds. Psychological wounds take a long time to recover from and never truly heal.
And some will call it Emotional Sadism as if they are rationalizing the fact it is a form of abuse.
First and Foremost your well being physically and emotionally is a PRIORITY. If the Dominant cant care for you then the relationship is not going to work.
Emotional sadism has a wide range from small light stuff to heavy duty mindfucks.
If someone tells you they are an emotional sadist do not submit to them unless you have had experience with it. If you allow yourself to enter into play with one you are putting yourself in very deep dangerous waters.
the creativity and intimacy of a mindfuck is exciting and intoxicating ....but its not something to enter into lightly.
Protect Yourself.
