So everyone has been burned in the relationship game. It stings especially for us non-vanilla folk because of the hormones, the chemical changes in our brains that happen and our feelings. Our relationships can go as deep as a wedding ring...or deeper way beyond that. depends on the chemistry ...depends on the people involved.
I personally am very fond of this chat site. It feels like home. i am comfortable here. and i genuinely like and care for most of the chatters that frequent the chat room. From time to time a few of ya have irritated me to the point where i felt the need to get mouthy with you but i try to overcome my initial irritation and move on. I dont expect anything out of any of you beyond friendship and good conversation. yes even if i have to say crazy stuff and share things that really get some of you talking. some days peeps its like pulling teeth. but some of you are catching on and i like that.
And well not one week goes by where there isnt a story related in chat by someone sharing a disappointment in someone that may have turned out to be special for them. it sucks. for the most part i bite my tongue and practice my patience skills and maybe try to persuade someone to get it all out so they can move on and get over it. but its not easy....i know that...and i dont expect anyone to have an easy time of it. its a learning process and the best that the rest of us can do is to practice our patience and lend our shoulders for someone to lean on while they process and try to make sense out of what has happened and their hurt and anger.
I've spent many hours in chat rooms. and there were genuine times that i have reached out and tried to help or actually helped someone whether it was by a connection or a favor or my means.... i try to stay grateful for what i have and happy with what i do have. once i called in a favor for a young sub who was sharing in chat that she had tumors growing in her girl parts and no way to have them seen to. well turned out she had stuff growing allright...not a tumor but a child. And she bailed after admitting to a surgeons assistant that it was a baby ...after air fare and hotels and professional services were all lined up. i was very naive...and learned quite a lot on that one.
and then next really rough one involved a sub who another chatter recognized out in public. this chatter had mental issues and snapped when the sub declined his advances. so she was stalked. and her horse was poisoned 3 times ...the third try succeeding in killing the poor creature. all this happened after the sub spent a lot of energy pursueing a chat room relationship with me. i felt protective of her and so i let her ""in"" to my inner circle. and i introduced her to my Master and Sir grew to like her and she was close to being included in the poly group. Sir helped her financially here and there...and i did too. encouraged her to seek employment as an emt in my town. would have let her live with me and i dont live in a shack. things could have worked out for her to where she could be financially stable and suddenly she threw it all away...she got wacky with me ..she couldnt be involved with Sir and still be my friend. slowly she turned on me. i had nothing to gain except the pleasure of seeing her end up with a better life for herself. so not sure where she is living now. there is no contact. W/we know that she has a girlfriend who was hell bent on keeping her there with her just because she wanted her. she was jealous of the relationship that had started between the sub and my Sir.
personally it hurts me very deeply. ""she"" wanted in with me or U/us not really sure if she wanted Sir or me. part of me wonders if she was using me to get to Sir...and thats on her. But she wont even contact Sir. Sir found me in a terrible situation years ago and HE worked with me and got me stable and on my feet. and i know that the same could happen for her ...
but i guess W/we all need to realize that there are indeed some nasty people out there. i can only effect the way i behave. its easy for any of U/us to expect others to act the way we would in situations but it simply is not realistic. but its where our anger starts with others.
i havent decided that i wont help anyone else out in the future. because i will if i think i should. the idea that anyone would emotionally work over another human being to keep them living in a place they dont want to live in just boggles my mind. our collars allow us to make choices ..make relationships possible where we are "owned" but in a good way. i've seen someone trying to own someone in a bad way and it disappoints me terribly.
ghosting is a terrible thing to do to someone who might genuinely care about you.
