Hi everyone! I am always suprised at how many people actually read these. I hope that they can be helpful and empowering to everyone who reads.
So i recently took a couple days off from this site. I had to collect myself. The reason is, because im not perfect. I do try to make sure that is stressed in all my blogs haha. I 100% believe and try to live by the truths that i wrote about, but those are some lofty ideals that are hard to live by every minute of every day.
The biggest and most difficult struggle i have in my life and my personality is pride. It is the slipperiest and most destructive force that i know of. It's a lot like being insane really. Literally everyone could tell you about it, and a prideful person will say "im not crazy, you're crazy."
Pride disguises itself and mutates every day like an advanced flu virus. That is why it is important to have certain core beliefs. Because of what i believe about Love, i am able to more easily see my own pride.
This site has helped me in that i have seen my own hypocrasy. I have able to notice that, when a difference of opinion is the issue, i am usually really good 😄 i can discuss and learn, be educated and hopefully educate some 😄 however, i have noticed what a high horse i have allowed this to put me on. I have a voice that was whispering "look what a gracious debater and educater you are!" And my pride got to dangerous levels. I had another voice saying "Hail! Defender of the innocent and misunderstood!" I allowed it to get to me... this pride made me short-sighted and callus. When i thought i was right, i very quickly got acidic. I was no longer educational or compasionate. I hated seeing what i was doing.
So, part of combating pride is admitting it, openly. This is hard, because often you are making yourself vulnerable in front of people who are very likely to attack you. There may very well be people who have their own prideful reactions to your attempt to correct yours. At least for me, that really hurts (my pride). Some people will unjustly take credit for your change. Some people will accept apologies that they don't deserve and won't return what apologies they may in fact owe you. Some people will use your weakness and/or failure to discredit anything you have ever said or done. That makes it so hard to fight my own pride.
However, these are the losses that have to be accepted for losing a battle with my pride. It is so important that i admit it, get it out in the open and condemn it, to keep it from growing and doing any more damage.
It is only by forsaking our pride, making ourselves vulnerable and willingly accepting pain, that we can truly love.
I hope this helps someone or anyone who reads this. That it is inspiring, uplifting and/or empowering for you. You aren't alone, and you can win.
