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What am I really ?

In growing restless and am unsatisfied . I was a very sexual person with my exe. I did get him into some kink but he just wasn't into my needs like I was. So it was a softer submission.
Yet he was the best I've ever had. Our bodies fit perfectly. I left him just about 10 years ago and felt No one could compare to what he had and what we had everyday so I gave up sex for just about 10 years. It was not easy but I didn't want indulging sex and I don't like huge packages but I do prefer at least 7.5" -9.5" and vanilla sex is okay at times but really I enjoy being tied up and teased and had for hours.
Another thing is men seem to think all women are really into receiving oral sex. While I enjoy it, in all honesty it's never gotten me off. I'm more into fingers n toys. Men are the ones who extremely love oral sex on them and so they don't understand women can be different. Are different.
Well I ended my celibency 6 weeks ago and now I wish I hadn't because now I'm thinking of being filled n played with all day and night.
My dilemma is I don't know how much of a sub Im ready to be. I love nipple suction and breast roping and being cuffed up where I'm at the mercy of my partner. But I've never just met a Dom because I'm a woman who needs to feel chemistry and attraction to the person I'm about to become intimate with. I want to be handled roughly and used for hours but I can't just trust anyone. And there are limits.
Many are into anal sex and many seem to just want to shove it in. Well for me a small butt plug is uncomfortable. If I met the right person and they could be patient I'd probably with slow training and stretching agree to anal. But do I really want anal sex. ? This is an inner conflict within myself. I've fantasized for decades about it and masturbate to it. But in all honesty someone would have to fulfill my needs which require a lot of breast play and fingering and straight up entering me over and over. Foreplay is so important to me.
I also like to give and I like to tease my men too and sometimes tie them up while I lick and suck them all over.
I also don't want cyber sex or talk My mind is it's own cyber world.
My fantasies are so various....from wanting 2 men too dominate me but then there's that anal part......to having a man Just tie me up top and crotch tie me and apply the breast suction machine and then after the intense nipple suction machine while being stretched down below with my man's fingers and toys, ice and red hots. While having my wrist restrained and possibly even using a leg spreader.
What I'm getting is men wanting to just dominate me or make me a slave.
I know Im not into being a complete slave but habe had fantasies about my partner making me a slave for a whole weekend. Where I'm cuffed and naked and habe all kinds of things done to me as I'm powerless.
Is it really to much to ask for a partner in my everyday that says hello and we chat and then on my available weekends and a day or 2 a week have my partner be my caveman but understand while my body is his completely that there needs to be an understanding to limits and I'm not just a fuck doll ?
I'm in Michigan metro Detroit area and I don't know how to even find people like me. My last 3 partners I trained to do what I needed.
Ugh it's so complicated now
Size to me is important
Chemistry is important
Looks are important
Ownership is wanted in the sex department but not throughout our everyday.
I'm me. With particular needs and yes I will give my partner what he desires and more.
But am I truly a sub ? Our am I somewhere inbetween ?
I just wish There was an easy way to find out size, demeanor, and if a man can be what I need.

If you wish to find me it's simple
Debbie Romancheck

Fb
5 years ago. November 22, 2018 at 11:06 AM

Keep getting messages from men mentioning they want to take me out and have me wear harnessed bras with magnetic orbs on my nipples making them hard and then wanting me to wear sheer like tops and sexy skirts and heels to go outside to show me off.

 

Okay I'm game. But these items are being bought by your wallet not mine.

Maybe I've been spoiled all my life. But it's what I expect as honestly while I am somewhat voyeuristic it's not to the degree that some of these men are wanting. 

I'm large chested I have revealed cleavage before as I'm proud of my twins but I've never had my nipples hardened with magnetic orbs and then walked around without a full bra on out on public in sheer like tops and dresses.

 

But yes if I find my right partner I'll dress to make him happy but he's paying to dress me up in what he wants

Same goes for New toys such as a womans harness. I'll wear them but you're buying it.

Want to fill me More n more as we go and you stretch me then you buy those larger items

I will buy you surprises too but all in all. You want to be Master than a master takes care of his sub lover. 

Doesn't all have to be at once as some toys are more expensive than others. But slowly we build our own playtime kit together.

I guess I'm old fashioned .

But hey you want you buy. And you say I'm to obey within limits then you're acting as my owner .

I own My dog. I buy his food, his toys, his beds, his treats and I play with him with his toys and walk him and keep him warm in clothing in the winter as he's only 13 lbs

 

No one's milking me and getting the milk for free. 

But if my partner mentions a new interest I too will go out and buy that item and surprise Him with it.

If I want him to wear a specific type of shirt or pants then that's on me too.

 

A partnership is about fairness. But being as doms will go on and on and insist on pushing your limits then the green fromtheir wallets is buying his newest wish to use on me.

 

Just my opinion. 

Satindragon - I agree with both of you. I hope that a few of the Dom's in our community will voice their opinions.
5 years ago
sweetd0428​(sub female) - Thank you Satin. Much appreciated !
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving !
Deb ❤
5 years ago
FierceCravings{(female li} - I agree 100%! I don't see any Doms jumping on this topic yet either....wonder why that is? Lol...
5 years ago
ReXXX Dean{Uncollared} - Sweetd0428, Read your Blog and found many things interesting, to cover the topic above from my view point, if someone is interested in playing with another in the BDSM world, I would hope they at least had their own small selection of quality toys they were willing share/express/expose to a potential friend or partner. Long before that I would hope a discussion about limits, Safe words and being willing to have their identity shared with that potential partners safety friend, even if just in sealed envelope that would only be opened in an situation were a specified contact time was not meet, on that note I find you vary interesting and am reading you as a submissive switch into bondage more than sex, who through sharing their love for bondage and the bliss that comes with it receives fulfillment. let me close by saying you are not alone and are only miss understood buy others that do not understand your needs and desires. I truly love bondage myself, the feeling of being not so much helpless but hugged by the ropes or restraints, who's re-lease is just out of my reach and at times want to share that feeling by tieing a partner up so they can enjoy it too. Sweetd not everyone can be part of this special feeling and some may just not be perceptive to it at all, the most important part is that you are honest with yourself, express your needs openly before engaging and always employ safe practices until you get to know others.
5 years ago

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