Stay awhile and listen if you wish for this blog will be the first of many. I will try to keep adding to my blog at least once a week. Few things that must be stated first, these are my thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. I do not wish change anyone's opinions or beliefs with my words. If you have questions then please feel free to leave them in the comments and I will do my best to respond.
My previous entry gave an overview of my start and mindset. This entry will go deeper into my fears. These emotions play a part in everyone's lives whether you are a Dom or Sub. So what better way to learn then to let an Alpha pull back the curtain's slightly.
Fear, the driving force on what stops everyone from trying new things. Fear grips me even now as I write this since rejection and angry have followed my words. Fear will drive away something that is beautiful and wonderful. No matter how you rationalize it. "I want them to be happy. It was not meant to be." These are the words we tell ourselves or others as a way to hide behind the walls we create. My fear is of change, fear of happiness which is comical when I type it out. I fear the happiness because I have held on to the idea that people don't like me for a long time in my life. What will happen when I finally give that up? Will I be the same person? To say that I have no fear because I am an Alpha is a lie. Fear lives in everyone. Fear can consume you as it has done to me for the past 7 years of my life. I am an introvert who only interacts with people when I have to. The friends I have talked with on here have helped me come out of my shell slightly but I still hold on to that fear of self worth.
Now you might be asking, how can someone claiming to be a Dom have fear? Doesn't that contradict the definition of being a Dominate Male? The answer is no because rule 1: Dom's do not have the power in a true D/s relationship. (another topic that will be covered in later blogs). We are chosen by our submissive partners and protect at their pleasure. This creates fear because we may be set aside for someone else whether due to location or other factors. A Dominate person who say's they live without fear is deluding themselves or lying. We all have fear brother's and sister's. It is up to us on how we handle it and protect those who entrusted us to protect.
Fear is a complex emotion that I have not done justice in my explanation. I have touched on my fears even recent one's of change. My goal is to find that person who lets me live without fear and knows it will be a long journey with me. I am not perfect by any means nor will I ever claim it. I admit I am afraid of the unknown but I am willing take the step with her by my side forever if she will have me.
I hope this has helped some people open up to their partners about the fear they have so that both of you can work towards a better future. If I have helped just 1 person then I will continue to write. Thank you for reading this far and more will follow in the future.
Stay safe.
