It actually went really well, I was a bundle of nerves but it went well and I meet with them again next week and they said roughly 2 to 3 months and I should have housing
For now I just save money and wait
I can wait
Waiting is easy
It was the uncertainty that drove me nuts lately
The stupid paper that legally says my ex was a douche
That he was a coward who could never be a master, prince or guardian
But still, I broke down last night
While housing news in fantastic news
I was still grieving the love that I was supposed to give him
He's dead to me these days
But it wasn't supposed to be that way
He was supposed to be the one I loved
But he only loved the convenience
He didn't love me
Love doesn't leave people starving and homeless
Love doesn't sign legal papers explaining they're throwing you away like trash
I thought he would of fought for me
I thought he would of begged me to stay
I thought he would have apologized
I thought he would have talked to me
But all I have left of him is that cold penmanship that says "I no longer need you or want you"
And so I cried for 3 hours last night like an idiot
It's been nearly a year since he left me for dead
And I'm still rebuilding
I just really hate that paper
And him
I hate him a lot
I almost sent him a scathing email but he isn't worth the time or energy and probably wouldn't care about what I had to say anyway
So I've just been trying to figure out how to love myself
Like replacing my books and having a cute kitchen down the road etc