Today was supposed to a perfect day. I had left over PTO “use it or lose it stuff” I had the day completely planned. I was going to play baseball with my grandson he’s 2 1/2 and I think he’s the greatest player of all times. But I woke up I couldn’t talk my throat was just raw. Yup I spent the day in urgent care. Got a shot in my butt that hurt. Had to text everything to the doctor and nurse. It probably took longer because of that also. But I was giving my paperwork and sent to get my prescriptions.
but as I sat in the waiting room I listened to everyone around me complaining about something I was no different complaining in my head. I was right with them. Then my son sent me a picture of my grandson wearing his little baseball outfit saying I hope you feel better grams. And that’s when it hit me. “Not everyday is a good day but there is something good about everyday”. That simple picture made today a great day. You see my grandson son doesn’t care I couldn’t run after the ball for him when he hit home run after home run. While I do. I should be the size of a feather with as much running I do for those balls. 🤣 he just wanted me better so we could have another day. His free will of love is so unconditional it really has no end.
then I thought about a few things from my past. And why I couldn’t forgive myself for them. I had no control over some and I did what I did with no bad intentions. My heart was in the right place. Just bad people that were put in charge did bad things. Yes I allowed it. But again I did do what I did with good intentions. I can’t be responsible for others actions only mine. I want to thank maxstern. He knows what I’m talking about. That is enough. I’ve always known I wasn’t responsible for the things out of my control but I was ashamed of the way I handled them. But then realizing today I handled them the very best I could and with no bad intentions I’d like to say no bad thoughts but that wouldn’t be honest. But my intentions were pure and to the best of my ability at the time with what I had to work with. I don’t need to feel guilty I don’t need to be ashamed and I most importantly need to one let it go. Two forgive myself. And three be happy it is in the past. These are easier words spoken than lived. Something good came of today I forgave myself. If even for a day or a moment. Now I can work on doing it everyday. Something good came of a bad day.
