My journey

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - I concur. I’d add to the non-sexual side: A Dominant assisting in a physical fitness and dietary program; a Dominant helping with guidance on professional development; a Dominant helping with personal and mental well-being. Any aspect of life, especially beyond the kinky and sexual, there needs to be trust based upon absolute open communication. Thank you for posting.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - Yes. So many reasons. So many things in play that make trust, honesty, and communication so important. Completely agree with you LL. Thanks for your comment.

dollMaker​(dom male) - Its vital for there to be quality video and audio, with a good view of the activity, and a quality wifi connection, if using video as a medium for an online scene. In my experience mobile phones don't offer this, and I would suggest Skype, over ipad, pc or mac using built in cam or an external one. Its vital for a scene done online that the top, dom can see exactly what is going on, good lighting and viewing angle vital, and taking into account any limitations over being there in person. For the bottom, sub, its important that they have educated themselves in the proposed activities, so they know what is safe and not and can gauge the skill, knowledge of the top, doms ideas and instructions. This is a vital part of a sub, bottom protecting them self from dangerous activities, badly done normally safe ones, and idiots, of which there are plenty out there and on the Cage.

A good scene is playing with fire in a controlled safe way, balancing all the elements and it takes experience, knowledge and skill to do that, something that is vital to avoid hurting the sub, bottom. This applies in person, but its even more important when not in person. Way too many idiots and wannabes are doing scenes, using activities they have no actual experience, or knowledge of and hurting subs. Sadly even some who just don't care, giving orders for subs to do crazy things to their bodies, who because they are ignorant of good safe activity with those items or even if its safe at all are injuring themselves, sometimes badly.

Building trust and good communication must be on a foundation of knowing that the person is who they say and has the experience, knowledge and skill they claim, if they don't then even if communication is very good the foundation is one of sand and playing with that person is extremely dangerous. The only way a sub can suss that out is by being educated them self so they can spot bullshit.

Its also important that a sub/bottom always can say no and call red. Many are programmed, groomed to believe that not doing that is genuine bdsm. No thats called abuse. If you feel its dangerous, starts to hurt, call red and halt things. There are idiots out there who even in light of that will try to push the sub/bottom on. These people do not care who they hurt, to get their rocks of.

BDSM/Fetish activity, even sexual activity in a BDSM context is dangerous, potentially very dangerous. Get educated, go to workshops, go to events, read books, watch quality videos, puruse knowledge in the areas that interest you. Education will keep you safe. To the idiot wanabe fantasy people go back to playing computer games, watching porn and getting your rocks of with Pamela and her five sisters. To new doms, do nothing with no one till you know how to. With those with experience, wanting to explore new activities etc don't try until you know fully how to. To abusers, fuck off and crawl back into the swaps you crawled out of.

To those wanting to try online, via text or video, crawl before you walk, you will need to apply in person skill, knowledge to a new medium and it has its challenges, go slow and very, very carefully. If you are new to BDSM, go learn before you try anything in person or online.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} - Thank you so much for your detailed comment. I love it! I see so many people trusting blindly. And it worries me. My focus lately has been to try to blog on these topics because I feel they so often overlooked, or some who just haven't been educated yet who need this. And I, myself, need a reminder also. It helps me to keep things in perspective.