My Journey

Being a submissive is sometimes such an emotional rollercoaster. In my first 49 years of life, I was not emotional. Furthest from it. Repeatedly proven and reminded so. I had a wall erected so high that I was the only one behind it.

These past 15 months or so, I have fully embraced who I am. That brought forth the vulnerability of my heart being in control. It's a love hate relationship right now. My mind seeks the love, attention, and soul of my other half. The dream of our hearts syncing as One.

I have to believe that time in my life will happen. Never giving up hope.

Who knew how hard it would be to feel being loved again. Having that special man guide me, and holding my hand beyond difficult times into the joy of Our life. To feel Daddy's arms wrapped around me, keeping me safe, chasing my fears away. Seeing the need in His eyes when I stand before him, knowing only I can quench His thirst. Finding every opportunity to show Him that He is my world, the one I look up to, admire, respect, and follow.

Who knew....

Is to hear You call me babygirl

To feel Your arms around me

To know I am all You need

To hear the phone ringing knowing it's You

To start and finish Our day together

To hear from You during my day because You miss me

To know I am enough for You

To feel Your love in every breath I take

The taste of Your lips

All I really need is...

YOU

This last year was a tough one. Relationships and friendships ending. Life changing directions by choice and sometimes not by choice. Sometimes we struggle with these changes. I've been fighting some realities for a while now but over the past few months, instead of fighting them, I'm working with them. If I can't change them, I'll make the best of them. I've welcomed some amazing people into my life who make my days brighter. I hope I do the same for them.

Hug those you love, be kind to those around you, and open your heart to the love and kindness you receive so you can give it back.

Lessons are never easy. I have made what I thought were online friends but in reality very few are more than a lesson. 

I am usually all about keeping things positive but something was pointed out to me tonight that really caused a bout of depression. I think he was just saying something I should already have known, but being told certainly wasn't fun to hear. So here it is...I will at no point in my future be someone's first priority. When you are with someone in any kind of a relationship, their own family and or children will always come before you. I'll be honest in saying that is freaking depressing. It also seems to put my future into a different light. Hell, it causes interesting reflection on my past relationships too.

She finds an emptiness within herself

Feeling alone

Her needs surfacing

No one to tell her that it’s ok

No one to feed those needs

She needs her mind and body to rest

All she feels is restlessness

Kneeling while his leash is placed

Scratch marks down her back

Fingerprints around her throat

Bite marks upon her neck

She breathes the air he gives her

She feels the pain he provides

Kindred souls

Feeding their minds

Feeding their bodies

The Beast and His Dark Angel

As I lay my head down to sleep I am giving thanks to the wonderful friends I have from here who make such a positive difference in my daily life. You are each uniquely special and loved dearly.

~Candy~

Once again, I have had to update my profile. I didn't think I was going to have to go through this, yet...here I am again. Trying to update it without being wordy is not easy, but I wanted to give enough information so you can get to know me. At the very least, maybe make some new friends.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Soaring Free

Laying wide awake at 2 am

Wishing...

You were snuggled up behind me

Listening to Your even breaths

Feeling Your arm holding me close

Rolling over, staying within reach

To see Your beautiful face

Your expressions so relaxed without a care

Your arm naturally pulls me to You

i hear a content sigh coming from us both

Our legs tangled together

My time to absorb the love we share

Our hearts beating for each other

Such a bond we have

We put each other first 

Our thoughts connected

Our lives are One

i will love You until the end of time

me and You, You and me, Us