My Journey

Trust:

firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Honest:

free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere.

Sincere:

free of dissimulation : HONEST

free from adulteration : PURE

marked by genuineness : TRUE

Some of us live by these beliefs. They make up our core being. But....we have to remember that for others, these are difficult to accept. Some are threatened by these and act out. Maybe even become verbally or physically abusive as their self defense mechanism kicks in. Being a first time recent recipient of this behavior, it was very eye opening. Definitely a learning experience. 

Some dominants believe in breaking a sub to gain obedience. I suppose that may be what works for a certain type of dynamic, but it's definitely not for this one. My own self protective nature kicked in and threw my submissive nature behind a block wall. To the One who will be my true Daddy, I will bring down every wall to be Yours. To the imposters trying to gain entry, you can kiss my ass!

*sorry to my little side...sometimes bad words are necessary* Biggest hugs❤️

I have unfortunately not had the best of luck in relationships. Sometimes I think I'm just not the One for anyone. Is there really a soul mate out there for each of us? Is there such a thing?

It's really hard not to doubt myself. It's hard to not be weary, to let go of the past and trust completely. It's hard to allow myself to let go of all the hurt and pain and completely give myself to another. What's really sad, is there isn't anything I want more. To belong, to be loved, to stop feeling like I'm a letdown.

Tears fill my eyes as I think it's actually me making myself feel that way.

Past experiences do not define who we are. They simply give us an array of knowledge that have helped us grow into who we are today. It is not something that should hinder a new relationship, but it should enhance it. In a relationship, we should be focusing on positivity, and enjoying the moments you have together. Take those wonderful past experiences, and help them expand and develop. Help each other move past the bad scars, and shine the light on the good ones. Never keep mentioning the negatives, because your partner will think that is what defines you and you are holding it against them.

Help lift each other to the sky

Be supportive of each other

Be the very best you can be

All my love

SF

Each personal experience leaves some kind of a scar within ourselves. Not all scars are bad or painful but those do greatly affect our next experiences. How often do you think about a past relationship that ended painfully, and not think about all the moments that left the scars? It could have been missed vacations, forgotten holidays, feeling used, feeling abandoned at times, and even just the moment you realize you're just not compatible after months of vetting. Those are just a few of my memories that have left my scars. I've come to realize that all of my "bad" scars have made my next relationship even more difficult because I didn't close the other doors and heal. Not once, until now, has someone taken the time to help me heal. Forgiving others for their mistakes, and learning to forgive myself. Closing those doors, giving Us the future we deserve.

To everyone out there, remember that everyone has scars. Some deeper than others, but they are all painful. Help each other be their best. Help each other heal. We all deserve the best in life.

Closing my eyes

looking for your face

it's dark

Listening for your voice

no soothing sounds

no words

Trying to feel your touch

nothing but space

feeling cold

No beating heart

No flutters

Sadness trapped in my heart

Chaos trapped in my thoughts

So much lost time and love

Everyone needs kindness in their lives. I'm always doing my best to be kind and positive but sometimes the darkness creeps in. For some of us the holidays are hardest. The darkness stays longer, the loneliness takes over, and it's really hard to be upbeat. Today I received a very kind email from a stranger. Something so simple lifted my heart.

Be kind to others, remember that holidays aren't joyful for everyone. Wave to a stranger, hold open a door. Say kind words.

Not sure why I'm just now writing this, but these are my thoughts.

Sub and Dom:

Set personal goals for yourself. Ask your Dominant to help. Do it together.

Set expectations for your dynamic and hold each other to them. When you say you're going to do something, do it.

Mistakes happen, but saying you're sorry only really means something the first time. After that it's meaningless.

When you don't understand something, ask for clarity. Misunderstandings cause chaos.

Be honest and don't take advantage of what is being offered. Some of us have big hearts and others take without giving.

This arrangement is sometimes only BDSM and sometimes it includes more of a relationship. That wording is iffy, sorry. Make sure you both have a clear direction. Half falling in love, is also half not. It sucks and hurts like hell, so be clear.

LDR in this world is not easy and it's not for everyone. You have a commitment, yet are physically alone. Give it your best, give everyday your all. It's OK if it's not for you.

Lastly, be true to yourself and your needs. You deserve the very best possible in life. Believe it, live it.

Through the sky into your arms

Feeling your skin against mine

Your lips upon my lips

Your taste across my tongue

The sting of your bite that drives me wild

Your cock pushing deep beyond its depth

The soreness that lingers 

Begging you for more

Promising not to move away, but closer

Who am I?  I am Yours

Who do I belong to? Daddy

Know your worth. Don't let people take advantage of you. Feel respected, feel valued, feel taken care of, feel loved, feel happy. Above all else....be You. Don't settle for less than Everything!

Missing the warmth of His smile

His eyes darkening with desire

The weight of His body on mine

The taste of His kiss

I miss Him filling my heart with joy

Feeling like I'm His

His priority

His happiness

HIS