My brain has been running rampant lately. From things that have triggered me to the talk I went to this past week. Submission has been on my mind how I give it away to those around me. Not only that meeting someone who was set collared. Being able to ask them questions about it. Come to find out so many have done it, or considered it. I am not alone there.
The thing with submission is it’s different for everyone. As we say in our primal 101 class “your primal isn’t necessarily my primal and that’s ok” That applies here too with submission. I mean think about it a second. If we all acted the same in the lifestyle, it wouldn’t be any fun now would it?
Some submissives love to do acts of service for their Dom. I know for me it’s not my love language. I love to make sure they have their cup of coffee in the morning if that is what they like. Made just the way they like it. Even if it’s made in a French press and I absolutely hate making it that way. It’s me doing the dishes that day because he didn’t do them after a long day. Even though he enjoys doing them. For me, it was doing those little things that matter the most. The things I could do in and outside this lifestyle. A way I could still submit to him and have no one know.
I never grew up with chores. I never had them. I never learned how to set a table. I didn’t know how to “serve” the men in the house. It was never a role in my house for women. We all took it upon ourselves to do our own thing. We did the dishes, washed the clothes, attended the garden, etc. While the men attend the yard, the trash, and any other handyman stuff.
When I became a submissive and started to learn these things. I learned at how good at times it felt to do these things. To set the table with his fave beverage already made for him. I would do dishes or we both attended to them. For me it made me feel good having him help me. He knew having the help in the house was huge for me. Taking out the trash, putting away dishes, etc. He knew at the end of the day my submission would be even fuller than it was.
I learned the power of kneeling. I learned what it felt like to kneel in front of someone and give up that control. I trained myself to kneel longer and longer. It was something I couldn’t do with my knee injuries over the years. It was me waiting at home naked while he walked in the door from work when he least expected it. He knew those things were hard for me. It also meant I was giving up apart of me in those moments.
I learned to follow rules. Ok, mostly follow rules. Even now the one rule I keep the most is my bedtime. I try and be in bed by 11pm. It’s a rule I have had since 2017. It’s a rule I still try to abide by. Why? It makes me feel good knowing I have it. It’s some form of structure I have. Even if I am unowned.
I saw someone wear a collar recently. I was asking them about it. They told me they are self collared. What I liked about it was they took it off and presented it to the Dom they were playing with and then took it back after their time was over. Reclaiming who they are. I had someone tell me about them doing it while they worked through therapy. Honestly for sometime now I have thought about that. Something to ward off Doms until I am ready. Even though I don’t mind playing with a couple of people.
Submission is a gift we give our Doms. Just as much as it’s a gift for Doms to give us their Dominance. The power exchange that happens can be very powerful. Especially with the right person.
I would never want to give that up. I have worked hard to be the submissive I am today. The few Doms who have watched me grow. I hope I have made them proud. If I haven’t, I’d love to change that. Being a submissive is and always will be apart of me.