Easter 2019 is a day I won’t forget. It’s a day that has stuck with me. I am thinking, maybe, if I am open about it, I can heal from it. Maybe, just maybe help someone else.
i was a collared submissive at the time. My Dom’s soon to be ex wife came over to bring him food from her Easter dinner. This is the first time I had met this woman, it would be the last time too. Me and her exchanged some very heated words as my Dom sat there quietly, head down, like a submissive. That pissed me off even more. The way she was making him feel was not very Dominant.
After several moments passed she finally left. We calmed down and was getting ready to finish what we had planned for the day. The next thing we did, I admit we shouldn’t have done. I take responsibility for it.
We ended up in a primal scene. Which was fine at the moment. We both had aggression we needed to release. We were rolling back and forth and just goofing off. Then he was having me get on al fours. As I began to question this, is where things went south. I tried to stop what he was doing, he just continued. The more I tried to get out of the position I was in the more he kept tossing me back in the all fours position. He then mated me from behind.
When he was finished I was stunned at what just happened. i honestly, couldn’t believe he just did what he did. He sat back in the couch and immediately felt remorse. His first words were “I think I just raped you.” Granted he felt bad, it still doesn’t make it any right as I am learning.
At this moment I blew everything off and was like it was fine. Scenes go wrong all the time. I felt so off about it. I shouldn’t have blown it off. We really didn’t talk about it sense that day. He was messed up in the head according to him for a few months. He wasn’t exactly open with me about his feelings. So I can only go by his mood he showed.
The thing is, scenes do go wrong all the time. I am learning now that my tolerance for this is rather high. Which is why I blew it off like it was nothing. Now, going through therapy, I have to face this head on. Learn how to process this and deal with the feelings that go along with this. Not even sure if I know how.
If some of you reading this know me outside of here please keep all parties involved hidden. No, names have been shared in this for reasons of privacy. I want to keep it that way. I thought it was time, to help someone else who may need to hear this.
