Wise thoughts

Seen a lot of drama happening on this website lately, it’s sad seeing so many people hurting. 

Lots of people feeling drained, hopeless, unloved, unwanted. Even though I am a strong person, I too have been there before.

The world will suck away all your emotion, draining you of what it means to feel ....only if you let it. That means you gotta go belly up for the world in order to let it affect you negatively! 

So maybe this can motivate the hopeless to be hopeful, the longing to feel longed for, the unloved loved, the unwanted feeling wanted...

There is so much more to life than the downs that you are experiencing right now. To give up is to lay forfeit your very being; in truth give up on your natural self. Take a breather, take a break, eat a snickers, dive into a ice cream carton... JUST DONT GIVE UP!

Thats an order! 

I was there...like I said. It’s not fun, it’s not engaging and it’s demoralizing. Yet here I am better because of my failures, because of all the times it didn’t work out. It may suck now, but tonite...tomorrow, next week...next month...you’ll be in a better place. 

Keep that in mind as you read this post, I am thinking of all of the loves lost on this eve. I will drink to you this evening.

Stay smooth, butter.

Just some music to get y’all pumped up with.

Been keeping myself occupied. 

Ive smothered opportunities before, ya know constantly sending messages, sending off that clingy vibe. I don’t wish to be that guy, so what really helped was establishing the whole goodmorning during the day, goodnight at night. That way she can approach me and me not getting all super-weird. 

See, I get really puppy-dog-like when a opportunity presents itself. Some find it cute, others flattering. One thing about me is I am also pretty consistent, I’m the same at the beginning as I am during the middle, as I am during the end. (I say end cause all opportunities I’ve had up until this point ended.) 

Either way it been three days since I’ve heard anything. I’ve been messaging her once or so daily, mentioning how she is in my thoughts, what has happened with me, Changes in rules since communication is a bit more difficult. 

Ya know, nothing too crazy or carried away. Only thing I’m thinking is “possible” is my emails are going through spam or she isn’t in the right mindset to communicate. 

Patience is never my strong suit.

oh yes, what I have been doing:

Finished two magic decks I wanted to build. Went to a child protection class for church ministries. Hanging with the in-laws, hanging with my dad. Watching shows with the mrs. 

How are you lovely folks doing? 

How is it given? When is it broken ? 

Ya know after each experience I’ve had, I’ve learned a lesson. My mentor tries to teach me them as well. 

Lots of learning in failure, lots of learning in defeat. 

I’m tenacious and persistent. I’m an optimist , but I’ve inherited my fathers pessimism. 

Basically , I trusted my bun up until the recent interference. Silence. whatever you might say. 

Just last night I caught myself doubting her, and that’s wrong of me to do so. 

Why? This is what Bdsm is built upon, trust. I realized up until this point my bun told the truth, so that being said she still is telling me the truth. 

Side note: Today she graduates college....I’m proud of her. Almost as proud as her standing up to asshole. 

Either way: I trust her and these moments I should be working on my paranoia...cause the reward for patience is so fulfilling.  

Thanks for reading. 

Been about a month since I started talking to bun. I helped her gain the confidence to stand up to her “room mate” welp the room mate got either violent or agressive and kicked her out of her current living arrangement. 

....She feels terrible that we can’t talk consistently like we have been, she didn’t want us to end (nor I) and so I told her I won’t drop her just cause our communication is sporadic. 

I am glad my bun is being safe and staying with her mother but her mother has no internet , and my bun is not comfortable sharing her phone number (yet?) I mean ...

This fucking sucks...I was about to celebrate with her for graduating college. I- I just don’t know what to do.

Why does his happen to me? 

My bun spoke up about her unhappiness in her current situation. It was simple “I am unhappy”, it is a start. 

I gave her a month to better herself, and move on. Not that I don’t wish she could work it out, but I think this relationship is beyond saving and she is looking to greener pastures. 

On a good note, she spoke with her friend which was worried about her...and this lead to her being very happy when I tucked her in last night. 

Proud of her, glad that I am having a positive effect on her life. Makes me feel good when she feels good herself. 

She is baking , I hope they are brownies. Yum.

Im always one to be thinking, the same tactic doesn’t work twice on the same person, that tactic might not work on someone at all. 

From real time strategy games to magic the gathering using my brain to come out “on top” is so much fun. 

Its the same thing with dealing with a submissive. Some require a stern hand and a soft tone, others require a stern tone and a soft caress. Some just want it rough all the time, others need a break. 

bun is doing a lot better, she’s in a better mood and even got a compliment. Generally, positivity rubs off on people and in the afternoon my bun went on to impress a customer to get this compliment: “You deserve such a better job, you are too good for this place. You are destined for great things.” I agree with this kind soul, my bun is destined for great opportunities...and I’ll help her along the way.

see ya later, space cowboy. 

My mentor and I have this saying, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. 

Lots of people assume that if it’s “right” it will show in the fact that the submissive is always happy.

My bun had a rough day, finding out her relationship partner she chose a while ago was definitely not compatible. She feels gross, she feels  hopeless, she feels a burden.

I gave her advice, and told her “get out” of the bad relationship she was in. She’s scared he might grow violent , my poor bun....

Its important through the good days , and the bad, to be there to support your submissive. bun is my responsibility and as such I take all of her feelings into account.

We had a talk about how a submissive at any time can ask to be released, and discussed the reasons why she might leave. The reasons why I might drop her. This thankfully happened the night before her bad day...

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. 

Sorry for the day or so of silence, I am still alive but I have been focusing on training my bun.

Might I say this has been sooo easy, compared to the rest of the “maybes” I’ve had in my life.

She has finished her resume, she has gone shopping (window) for clothes for interviews. She has confidence and is seeing the good in her. 

Ah seeing them flourish after just meeting you and in such a short time. Feels successful...feels accomplished.

A few other goals need accomplished, but we will get there together. 

As a side note: my son is a goof. He’s not very hungry lately, so to let us know he is done eating he throws his food on the floor. I said “Son, you are a butt!” Then he goes and points at himself “BOT!” Yes son...you are a butt. 

I love the little guy. 

Recently had to motivate my Bun. For me, music helps. My headphones died just as I found my song I wanted to listen to. Oh well time to slog till they are charged, jk I’m always busting my ass at work. Music just helps it be Smooth.