It's been awhile since I have posted one so here y'all go...
It's so hard to wake up in the morning knowing that I won't have a good morning waiting for me. It's so hard to go to sleep knowing that I don't have a good night and sweet dreams waiting for me. I know that the pain and hurt will lessen over time but with the wound still fresh it hurts so much because I was left to clean up and explain why. Over the last couple of years I have been hurt and made to feel like I was good for only one thing and when I met him, he was helping me heal from that and then he leaves me and I feel like I am not worthy to have anyone. I try not to let it show that I have been hurt especially at where I work but it is so very hard. Right now just about everything reminds me of him and it hurts so much. I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. He tore my heart into pieces and I don't know if it will ever be able to be put back together. The only people who knew about us are those who know us here on the Cage. What makes this worse is besides losing Daddy, I lost my actual father back in January and I am so very fragile at this moment. I want to thank all those who are supporting me during this time. It means the world to me.
I want to thank everyone who told me not to give up and to take it one day at a time. I will be working on healing and making myself better. Yes it hurt very much to lose my Daddy like I did but like I was reminded earlier things happen for a reason. *hugs* to all!
I am so hurt and heart broken right now . Due to some personal issues my Daddy has left me and the lifestyle. I feel so useless and I don't know if I can keep going in the lifestyle because of this. I have been so hurt and this has set me back quite a bit. I don't know where to go from here.
Daddy gave me the greatest gift yesterday for my birthday. He gave me the gift of his voice. He called me for the first time and being able to hear his voice was the best present I could have asked for. I am so happy and blessed to have him as my Daddy.
I don't understand people. I am happily taken, but it seems like people can't read. I wear my Daddy's name on my collar and I still have people messaging me wanting to try and start something. That seriously ticks me off. Where do you think you are going to get by talking to a someone who is happily taken.
As I sit here looking at the walls, I wonder what Daddy sees in me. I am broken and in pieces. I try my best to be what he needs. I have given him my heart to do what he will with it. I will follow wherever he leads me. I am his minx, his babygirl, his property, I am his. I will wait for however long it will take for him to claim me. I have longed to be owned again. To know what a collar feels around my neck again. For I have been empty inside to long. It has been so long since I have known what it means to belong to a true Dom. For I will gladly submit to him as he is the one who can calm my mind so that can be the best for him. To know peace in my submission to him will be a balm to my injured soul.