Mind of a Raeven

I don't know why I try. I talk to people and let them know I am interested and it starts out okay. Getting to know them and seeing if they will be friends or eventually maybe something more and then something happens. If it's something I have done or haven't done. If it's something that I have said or what. Why do I get my hopes up on things and then to just have them dashed hard. Why do I even try?  Why put myself out there anymore? Just Why? 

I gave my heart and submission to people who I thought were the ones. I was seriously wrong and it has soured me on the lifestyle. I am heart weary and soul hurt. I am getting to the point of why even trying to find someone anymore. At this time I am just going to look out for myself and work on me and maybe one day I will try again.

Raeven

I have met and am now owned and collared by my wonderful Sir. I never thought I would meet someone who I connected with so much as I do him. 

It's been awhile since I have posted one so here y'all go...

It's so hard to wake up in the morning knowing that I won't have a good morning waiting for me. It's so hard to go to sleep knowing that I don't have a good night and sweet dreams waiting for me. I know that the pain and hurt will lessen over time but with the wound still fresh it hurts so much because I was left to clean up and explain why. Over the last couple of years I have been hurt and made to feel like I was good for only one thing and when I met him, he was helping me heal from that and then he leaves me and I feel like I am not worthy to have anyone. I try not to let it show that I have been hurt especially at where I work but it is so very hard. Right now just about everything reminds me of him and it hurts so much. I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. He tore my heart into pieces and I don't know if it will ever be able to be put back together. The only people who knew about us are those who know us here on the Cage. What makes this worse is besides losing Daddy, I lost my actual father back in January and I am so very fragile at this moment. I want to thank all those who are supporting me during this time. It means the world to me. 

I want to thank everyone who told me not to give up and to take it one day at a time. I will be working on healing and making myself better. Yes it hurt very much to lose my Daddy like I did but like I was reminded earlier things happen for a reason. *hugs* to all! 

I am so hurt and heart broken right now . Due to some personal issues my Daddy has left me and the lifestyle. I feel so useless and I don't know if I can keep going in the lifestyle because of this. I have been so hurt and this has set me back quite a bit. I don't know where to go from here.