Here but not here there but not there always in the shadows so no one can find me always in the shadows so no one can touch me always in the so no one can get close to me never come out of the shadows there is to much light to much goodness can't stand the goodness always in the shadows always in the darkness
I'm always alone even when there are people around me. Why do I always feel like this? I try to be there for others even when I'm so alone. I am me that's all I can be. I try to remind myself of that. Even know I have changed who I am for others so many times it's not even funny. So who am I? I don't know anymore. I know I am a gamer. I am a lover. I am a dom. I am a figher when I need to be. I am a care taker when it suits me. I have done so many things in this life time that is both good and bad. I have been treated like shit so many times even by my only mother. I can't stand someone changing my life. I have took that power back that I have felt for so many years that I did not deserve. I know some of my problems when it comes to people and why I can't get close to anyone. No matter how much I want to. I have tried to change this. Ok maybe not as much as I would like to. I'm not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me. Or for sympathy I don't need it or want that. If anyone ask themselves the same questions about themselves. Or feels the same way then this is for you. I have moved so many times I have lost count. I went to 9 different Elementary schools. So I was always the new kid. I would not change any of the times I have moved. Or the beatings that I got by my stepfather gave me. Just for being good or bad. Even know it took him taking my little sister for a week for my mother to leave him. Not that he was beating the shit out of me. But hey what can I say it made me stronger then what i was. Or the mental abuse that my mother did to me for 17 years. Ok I have said way to much already.