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I'm always alone even when there are people around me. Why do I always feel like this? I try to be there for others even when I'm so alone. I am me that's all I can be. I try to remind myself of that. Even know I have changed who I am for others so many times it's not even funny. So who am I? I don't know anymore. I know I am a gamer. I am a lover. I am a dom. I am a figher when I need to be. I am a care taker when it suits me. I have done so many things in this life time that is both good and bad. I have been treated like shit so many times even by my only mother. I can't stand someone changing my life. I have took that power back that I have felt for so many years that I did not deserve. I know some of my problems when it comes to people and why I can't get close to anyone. No matter how much I want to. I have tried to change this. Ok maybe not as much as I would like to. I'm not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me. Or for sympathy I don't need it or want that. If anyone ask themselves the same questions about themselves. Or feels the same way then this is for you. I have moved so many times I have lost count. I went to 9 different Elementary schools. So I was always the new kid. I would not change any of the times I have moved. Or the beatings that I got by my stepfather gave me. Just for being good or bad. Even know it took him taking my little sister for a week for my mother to leave him. Not that he was beating the shit out of me. But hey what can I say it made me stronger then what i was. Or the mental abuse that my mother did to me for 17 years. Ok I have said way to much already.