My goal is to be a slave, or as true to the definition as legally and ethically possible. But, I want to be a loving slave. One who knows her owner loves her just as much. Not some cowering creature to terrified to do anything else. I can promise you, the last bit will never happen.
The down side to this goal is at the moment I am not submissive. So, I need to find someone, or someone to find me, who is able to bring that part of me out into the open.
I do not want anything one sided. In my experience real honest to God relationships dont work that way. Both parties must be willing and determined to make it work through hell and high water. I must want to be a slave, and be willing to be obedient to that person. He must want a slave and be willing to assert his control and make me obey.
When I say "make me obey", I'm not saying bring down the hammer and sickle. Though there maybe days where he may have to lay down the law, most of the time all it would take is fostering an environment where I want to please him because I love him.
There are a few things that are needed to make this happen. First of all we need to be attracted to each other. If either party cringes when looking at the other, it's just not going to work.
Next he has to me at lest be as strong or strongerthen I am. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The slave can not be stronger then the Master.
He must be patient. I am going to screw up. Not on purpose mind you, but it will happen. I am the farthest thing from perfect. There will also be disagreements, some of them instigated by me, and if I cross a line I must be held accountable. But it should be done when the both of us have had time to cool our tempers. If I blow up unjustly on someone I really care about and have had time to reflect on it. I will be sorry and will despratly want to make it right. That is the time when we should sit down and discuss what went wrong. And if needed punishment should be administered. Otherwise hostility will grow.
This is also something that should be done in layers. bits of control surrendered here and there. I am not just going to instantly drop to my knees and grovel at his feet. Discussion and time is needed. Discussion on our wants limits needs and expectations. Time for me to get used to and adapt to submitting, following and obeying someone else. And for him to learn and understand who I am and how I tick. I'm 34 years old and have been on my own since I was 18. It's going to take some time to get used to the Idea of not only submitting but having someone else in my life.
I know it's not going to be easy or quick. but. It's a goal I want to accomplish with someone I care about.
