A long journey home

Happy Birthday Princess.

FYI Princess, I wrote this last night when you went to sleep. It still pertains to today.

Friday and today came and went, but somethings different. The sound of giggles coming from different parts of the apartment. Faint smells of perfume and lotion. It is just a little bit brighter today. My Princess is here for the weekend. But the weekend has its ups and downs. She has had to deal with things, still trying to keep the balance while here. We have a different dynamic. I can tell you it's an incredible dynamic, but different, even by BDSM norms. We both worry about things, about the relationship and the strains, but one thing I know for sure is, we are here for each other. I will always be here for her, she will always do the same. When I say the dynamic is different, it isn't online only, it isn't live in, it is monogamous but at the same time it's Poly. What I do know is I respect her for it. I love her for it. I cherish her for it. I do know that when she has a bad day, if I can, I will be there for her. I might sound self centered, but if she bitches, I want it to go to my ear. If she cries, I want it to be on my chest. If shes angry or upset, I want to put the smile on her face. When we first decided to embark on this journey, we knew it wasn't going to be easy, but sometimes the best things in life ever are. I will be here if she needs me. She is my world, and she is perfect. MY world is brighter because of her light. Godspeed Princess. 

Not sure if a lot of people have ever taken 4 lenses, but I am a green personality. Very logical, very matter of fact, logic rules my world. Other colors have bled in once I became a father, I did change, but logic still rules in my mind. I am not a writer, never have been. I have never blogged about a single fucking thing until I started blogging here. Until I met you, Princess. You see, I didn't know I could be this happy. I didn't believe you existed, until now. You really are my unicorn. I guess we never really discussed the difference between a Dom and an Alpha have we. I will probably piss off about half the population on here for discussing, but I don't give a fuck, so here goes(I really will sleep like a baby at night). I don't bark orders, I don't need to, I merely whisper and I watch you take off your clothes. You squirm when I gaze, smiling or not, you squirm. Doms want you to submit in the bedroom. You submit to me in Denny's ordering breakfast. You don't understand it, I live and breathe it. Sound cocky? It is, but I've dealt with it my whole life, I sleep like a baby at night. While I crave it, not once I have ever viewed your submission as a gift, I have viewed you as THE GIFT. I have always required a bond. You offered me forever. You offered me forever happy. You offered me forever fed. You offered me forever YOU. You offered me the one thing I never thought I could get. You offered me perfection. Never ask me why I chose you. It was perfection and infinity.

It's the little things you do Princess. The way you smile, it's beautiful and it makes my day perfect. The glint in your eye when you are about to do something bratty, makes me smile, because I know I'm about to have some fun. The way you giggle, it's one of the most wonderful sound in the world. There isn't a day that has been bad enough that a single text from you hasn't been able to bring a smile to my face. The reason why I treat you like I do, is because you deserve it. From the moment I laid eyes on you, you have earned, and deserved the way I treat you. You might not know how special you are, but Daddy does, and that's what counts. *wink*

Princess, something has been on my mind today. I told you I was going to bed, but I couldn't sleep. Not until I speak my mind. You have a busy life, and you have had a rough few days. I know you are wary, and I know you have doubts. I don't. If you have a bad day, even if I can't be there physically, I want to pick you up. I want to give you my time, lend you my ear, because I care, and you are my world. I've had made a life of building barriers so I wouldn't have to deal with a lot of life's circumstances. You tore them down in a single day. You got through to me when I was building the biggest barrier of my life. I mean fuck me. I am stubborn and pretty fucking cocky. I have no doubts that the universe would collapse if there were two of me. I don't think you realize how special you are. I might be very arrogant, but I have a lot of humility. If you had a strap undone on your shoe, I would kneel before you to take care of you. Everybody uses the term, loyal to a fault. I hate that term. Loyalty will never be a fault, will never be a flaw, and will never be a weakness. I will never demand loyalty from you. My loyalty is yours, because you have already earned it. I won't run, I won't falter, I won't fail, because my loyalty is yours. Don't bother giving me an out, I won't take it. Don't bother worrying if your life gets to be too much for me(Unless your family has RPG's and are actively launching at me, you really don't have much to worry about), I'm not going to doubt. I will never be here to be an added stressor Princess. I am supposed to be here to be a release. Talking with you today, our bond is stronger than ever. I am yours, as much as you are mine. Always and forever.

Every time I tell you that you are perfect, you disagree. Daddy has no problems if you disagree, but I do need you to understand. You are perfect because from the moment I laid eyes on you, I had to have you. My hunger grew immensely. You are perfect because the moment I tasted you, I needed more. You are perfect because when I need more, you are ready to give. You are perfect, because when you give, you give completely, your submission, your heart, your soul, without hesitation, mine to devour. You are perfect, because when you come into my arms, my hunger is tamed, and I am happy. You are perfect, because when I am ready, you do it all over again. You are perfect Princess, because you are mine.

You changed me. After spending time with you, after being with you, you changed me. I was done with society, I was done with
social constructs, I was done with all society had to offer. You have a heart of gold, you have a sweetness about you, you want
to help, you want to matter, I am enamored by your will, Princess. Before I even met you, I talked on my profile about the bond.
I talked about getting to know one another, about creating trust. But that's just the start, that's just the beginning, if you
find the right person, it's way more than that. It is the realization that you know someone well enough, their needs become your
priority, your needs theirs. You know their main, and sub intent when they discuss menial things. It isn't because that is what
is required for this type of relationship, but it is because you are so much more than just a "relationship". It's because you
are a part of me. It's because I don't have a future anymore, but because WE do. I knew long ago what a D/s relationship brought
to the table. I knew it offered something that was way more than a Vanilla relationship could offer. Then I met you, and you
had the ability to take it to a whole other level. You always roll your eyes when I tell you that you are perfect, but deep down
I know that in the end, because I have you, I want to be better in every aspect of my life. And it is all because of the bond we
share. You make me better Princess.

Where this story begins. Well a long time ago actually. I was into the lifestyle, I was also in the military. I had a sub, had a life, then 9/11 happened, 6 months later I was headed to the middle east, my sub long gone since she had no desire to wait. Fast forward 17 years, 4 more deployments, and a broken vanilla marriage, I decided to come back to the lifestyle. Where do I start? The yahoo chat rooms were gone(They were filled with fakes anyways). Anyone I knew in the lifestyle was either gone or retired, or retreated into the vanilla world. I came back because I was missing something. Couldn't put my finger on it, but the Vanilla lifestyle wasn't cutting it. I started reading, looking, I found a couple of places online. They seemed a bit cliquish, and bit uninviting to outsiders. Seems counter-intuitive to be stand offish in a society that is so judged by the outside world, but I kept looking. So I found this site, thecage. Seemed promising. I did what I always did, started introducing myself to others. I started making friends, talking to them, thinking that there are great people on this site. You popped up on my screen. I messaged you. Asked a couple of questions.You were very responsive. I immediately knew we were on the same page. I wanted to take my time, get to know you. We really did hit it off. So we talked, all day, imagine my surprise when you said you wanted to meet me. I informed you that I had to teach the next day, but after that, would be willing to meet that weekend(was I fucking insane?). You felt the same way, about meeting and the insane factor. Fuck it, I played by the rules for a long ass time, I was gonna do it. So I left right after class, anxious. We both texted about the insanity, the excitement, and probably both wondering if we were actually going to go through with it, or if one of us was going to back out at the last minute, during that long drive. I made it to the motel, had time to shower. I had some time on my hands, so the tension was building. You finally made it. I watched you walk from the parking lot and come through the doors. God I looked at you and I saw an absolutely gorgeous woman. You won't ever admit it, but you were. We met, and I walked with you to the elevator. I offered you an out(because I didn't want you to feel obligated to go through with it if you were uncomfortable). You remained, in the elevator wondering what was going through my head. I didn't say much, and loved the fact that it made you squirm. We got to the floor, I walked you to the room, as I opened the door, I whispered "Last chance". You walked in. We stood there awkwardly for a few. I didn't want to break the silence, I just touched your cheek, you looked down, and I gave you a soft kiss. Incredible! It was immediate for me, you later confessed it was immediate for you(You said you thought about running because you knew you were in trouble with that kiss). Those 24 hours we had together were phenominal. You won't admit it, but I will tell anyone who listens, I got lucky, and you really are perfect. I had no problems being with you in that motel room the next 24 hours. God, holding you in my arms never felt so right. It was that moment that I realized what I had be missing. The way you looked up at me, after we had a session. The way your eyes looked up from my chest while I ran my fingers through your hair. It was that feeling. It was a feeling that nobody else could give me but you. You gave me something I had lacked for so long, I had forgotten what it felt like. We bonded, and will forever be bound. You will always be my world. I will do my best to protect you, even from yourself and the doubts you harbor. I will forever hold you near and dear to my soul, for the darkness that was there is now filled by your light. You are, and will always be my Princess.