Being in a committed relationship is amazing.
Being single, committed to a relationship with ourselves is amazing.
Being in either and looking at greener grasses on the other side SUCKS!
Most people are in relationships and constantly evaluating whether they should be somewhere else (alone or with someone else)
Some other are single and constantly analyzing how and what they'd have to do to be in a relationship.
Meaning we suffer being single..
And we *definitely* suffer being together..
The problem is rarely the relationship.
The issue is the lack of commitment (or the weak foundations upon which it was built.)
Lots of people just slowly 'degrade' from lovers into roommates, into parents, into co-habitants and children-entangled humans who barely like each other.
Relationships often move from "dating" towards "exclusivity" without a proper declaration of vows, agreements and commitments.
Leave aside expectations...
It just sort of "Happens"
Like a boy transitioning into a man...
It just "happens"..
But when and how?!
Very few know.
Hence the abundance of 'man-boys' or unintegrated, pleasure-driven males who are still out to get from the feminine.
They’re umbilical cord seeking to be plugged in into their next lover, party, vice or business venture.
Unable to stand in their feet as Men because there was never clarity about what this transition meant, when it happened and what shifts it required.
So they are part Men part Boys..
And women often pay for this.
On the other hand lots of girls age but never become women.
Insecurity-ridden, daddy-pleasing, attention-seeking, validation-craving girls of all ages abound.
Unaware of their power, they give it up for attention, comfort and often security.
Unaware of their power they put themselves through excruciating relationships, often using their body as a bargaining chip with which to secure a partner.
Traders of love.
Adult girls craving so deeply to experience themselves as women, yet unaware of what that looks like or if / when that happened..
They've got their period.
Period.
But what about being a Woman?
See?
Our culture is not designed to bring clarity.
It all "just happens" when nobody is watching...
You're just supposed to get it.
And you better get it right!
(Like filing your taxes.. 🤣)
And if you don't, there's severe consequences..
Grey zones are the mothers of chaos.
Messy soups of unconsciousness, complexity and confusion.
That's what most relationships are because there were never any clear vows..
No clear agreements..
Or declarations of who we are for one another.
Shaky foundations will never allow for you to build something that lasts..
At best it looks pretty but once you move in, it feels unsafe.
The smallest of winds makes the whole thing shake and crumble..
That's 99% of people in their relationships.
Vagueness breeds conflict, disappointment and pain.
Commitment on the other hand brings clarity, confidence and growth.
Being single or in a relationship are both amazing experiences, if you're clear about them and choose them willingly.
Otherwise, they can become life's greatest torture.
If we don't know what game we're playing, we will always end up losing.
~Nicolas Canon~
