It's strange how the one person you fought for and sacrificed for the most, and time after time again devoted all of your energy, means and capabilities, based every decision on the commitment made to them, should be the very same one that pushes you away and keeps telling you to let go and change. Not knowing or realizing as they do this that it means cutting the very rope that they themselves have been holding onto and which will lead to their being left behind to their own devices as you continue without them.
I've been ready for this change for a very long time, been craving and waiting and biding my time. It was never a question of the change coming about the question was always about the rope and the person at the other end of it, but not anymore. This new year is about breaking old cycles, letting go of past and negatives and fully embrace all the parts of me that have been set aside so long and neglected, all the carefully put away pieces that others shied away from or didn't approve of. No more holding back for the sake of others or for the right time, no putting things on hold because something else needs to be done for someone else. For the first time in my life things are going to start being for me, about me and what I want. It's time for self in every sense of the word.
Here's to what I'll make sure is a kick ass year full of fun, wonderful madness and most enjoyable mayhem in the best of ways!
Happy 2021 all <3
