Bullies target for a reason.
There has been a lot of talk about bullies and people being attacked for a great number of things of late.
A very simple fact is that not everyone would like everyone else or everything else, it's human nature to want what we want and push to get it/our way /take control of a situation.
Even if it's just perceived control, even if it's something that has no effect on us or doesn't impact us.
Small secret - bullies have been bullied too. They're pushing YOU around because they see/smell/sense some sort of weakness in you (that often most likely got them punished or abused before as well) and they instinctively lash out and try to correct it. Like a shark senses blood in the water.
To fix a flaw or mistake that threatens them somehow. It's never about you, it's about what the situation represents to them in their mind.
Power or lack thereof, stability or an ability to defend yourself, to step up and say no. I won't accept this, it's now okay and it will not be allowed.
Placing boundaries is often the quickest way to anger a bully, (many of which have narcissistic behaviors), is to them like a slight or a blow to their ego.
And the fact that you're unaware of their emotional turmoil and suffering in their minds just means that you in turn need to be made to suffer as well.
But the real truth behind it is that you scare them. They see in you a fire, the potential to grow and own it, to become the fighter who will take it all on and use it to come out on top. And it terrfies them.
The more they see spirit in you the harder they'll try to push it down and stamp it out because in a screwed up irrational way if you manage to make it through where they didn't then you're stronger than they were.
Then you're better, and you're coming after them next.
Which if course is ridiculous but thats exactly the point, it's ridiculous. There's no actual purpose to bullying someone else other than to transfer pain and suffering to someone else.
To me bullying is the intentional manipulation, abuse and/or punishment of another person for any reason. Whether it be emotional, physical or psychological abuse its neither here nor there.
The result is the same. And it is never okay. There is a huge difference between criticism/feedback for behavior and actions versus attacking a person about themselves, and this is where most abuse takes effect and does the most damage.
That the victim then internalizes it all as a fault with themselves personally rather than a behavior, habit or action that can be changed and adapted in time.
But never doubt or mistake that one simple little thing - a bully WANTS something from you, that's why they target you. Because they see it and it sets off a switch in them. I repeat it is not about you.
