The other day I was told by a very ignorant male “sub” that only men can be real dominants in the real world. But in the bedroom, women are the Dominants. My first thought was wondering why his mother didn’t swallow him when she had the chance. My second thought was genuine concern.
I was concerned over his ignorance of hurting someone, on an emotional plane, due to his obvious lack of knowledge as to how the scene really works. I was concerned that he would destroy a potentially great thing between him and another Domme (I don’t have patience for that kind of stupid) and that Domme would turn her back on the lifestyle completely, due to the bad experience she will have with him. But mostly I was concerned that he will end up hurting someone in a physical sense, due to his obvious misunderstanding that the scene is all about sex or, in the bedroom.
Now, I am not stupid enough to believe that only women can be Dominants. I am also not stupid enough to think it's only men. I believe that both men and women can be Dominants. It’s just something that they are. But I also believe that true Doms can’t just turn off their Dominance because they are not behind closed doors. That isn’t how that works.
Being Dominant isn’t about barking orders. It is a true state of mind. It is something that is always there because that’s how a Dom is wired. It doesn’t stop because you go outside of the bedroom. It doesn’t stop at all.
I really hope he finds a very patient Domme that can train him and explain to him how this world really works. And I really and truly hope that he doesn’t destroy their interest in this world or most importantly, hurt them.
