It gets so exhausting
Once you learn the deeper levels trying to just have conversations with others is almost impossible.
My Master does fill my needs but im speaking of friends that are not vanilla and just people that can relate to what i know and understand .
I am allowed to be here and in places where I can message or have conversations. No use etc but just conversations with whomever i choose . But what I have found over the years is that is almost impossible.
There are so many players but i know their games. I know how to protect myself especially my mind. Sometimes i want to tell them what i know but I learned not to do that. its better to just not even let them know what i am thinking or feeling. I see through their masks and Know their games , their lines and I do just want to scream at them that if they would just attempt to learn some real skills in the mental aspects they would have so much more fulfillment.
I am also an older soul and mildly autistic. I am energy aware. I dont have to prove it . I just know. I know who I am. If someone actually wanted to be real friends they would just know by spending time with me even just in conversation.
But the world has shifted shifted more towards the spiritual dark and most people only what fast self gratification they dont want to walk in the light at all.
I know we all need balance.
Yes it gets so exhausting.
