The Chimera's Whispers

Musings, whispers, thoughts, opinions, murmurs, and lessons learned from someone returning to the Lifestyle.

Waiting...

4 years ago. October 16, 2019 at 1:31 AM

I don't feel like doing much right now... I'm trying, but it's hard. Sure, I'm going through the motions. But, I'm auto pilot.
After a teary goodbye in the airport yesterday, I watched and waited as my Dom got onto the shuttle-tram to get to his gate to board his flight...
((We won't get into how horrific the flight back was for him. That's a gigantic rant for another time and ehhh -- effort...))

I ache all over, deeply, down to my very core. I feel sluggish and lethargic. 24 hours after the "see you soon." at the Airport with him and the weight of it all is beginning to settle in.
I keep looking for him a little bit. Like when I get into my car, I glance towards my passenger seat expecting him to close the door and look to me to start the engine. Or, in bed I'll toss and turn, waiting for his arms to scoop me up and draw me in to his chest. Or worse, I'll wake up periodically, looking up in hopes to see his chin and scruff against my forehead, kissing it...
I had issues falling asleep last night, worrying for him since he was stranded in Dallas airport over night. I gripped the little green star tag on my "day restraint"
(Not a collar, nothing permanent. This is an item we agreed I'd keep on me during the day instead of wearing my big leather restraints on my ankles and wrists... It's an odd thing, but they bring me comfort. This is something much less conspicuous to wear while I'm out in vanilla public.)

I tried to bury myself in the bedding that smelt like us, and I buried my face into the shirt he left behind for me. It smelt like him. I caught a couple hours of sleep before I had to pour myself out of bed and trudge to work like a zombie.

I've done LDR's before. I'm not new to this. But this feels different. Heavier, lonelier. I feel needy, and clingy. I'm trying not to be. Trying not to focus on the feelings, or let it show. But, I feel it...

My Dom managed to finally get back to his state.
(I'm not saying home, because he now has opted to say 'Home' is with me. And I'm just fine with that. He's right. When he's here with me, I am home too.)

So, please excuse me.

I'm waiting for him to come back home to me.

Master C's toy(sub female){Chevy} - Although my Master was just here a few hours ago, I feel the emptiness when I can't see him. Something missing. He uses old spice body wash and the smell makes me shiver with need. I got out of bed, moved away from him and I could smell the old spice on me. I told him, "I'm not going to shower for days just to keep your scent with me." Then I remembered, he has bathroom supplies here so I just need to open the bottle and smell. I'm glad I have his items here, now I can smell him any time I want.
Ask your Dom what scents he uses and buy a bottle...it will help, trust me.

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - He washed me in his body wash while he was here, so I got a chance to see the bottle~ Ironically, he uses old spice as well, but I do not think they make the brand of Bodywash any longer?
((He also gave me this spongy poof thing he brought with him since he didn't want to bring it back. So that has his smell on it too... LOL!))

I will have to look into it~ Thank you for the tip though, it'll help!

4 years ago

Master C's toy(sub female){Chevy} - You're very welcome. In the future, something that will help me and maybe you as well, ask him for an old t-shirt that you can sleep in. Maybe ask that he leave you a bit of his soap and wash the t-shirt in it when it gets funky. That's what I'm going to ask of my Master...😊...and has helped me in the past.

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Aye, it's funny you're telling me these things. I actually do have a shirt of his he let me borrow~
I'm hoping, by the time he comes back to me, it'll smell like my detergent, my bodywash, my perfume, and me in turn when he takes it home.

4 years ago

Master C's toy(sub female){Chevy} - I wish I could do that. My Master is married...but I know I'm always on his mind. That's what matters to us doesn't it...❤

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Aye. That does make things trickier, I wish I had helpful advice to return to you my friend. <3

But, like you mentioned, you're on his mind~

4 years ago

Master C's toy(sub female){Chevy} - Thank you for the kind sentiment and yes, being on his mind is all that is needed...at least until I can figure out a way to give him a physical personal piece of me that isn't obtrusive.

4 years ago

ric840147 - Just wanted to say as the Dom that has to travel, 26hrs by plane away from my precious Little Sub, what you feel is mutual to both parties. The pain of distance is all too real. Every little thing helps but nothing can replace the touch of my Little Sub. Be strong, appreciate every little memory and focus on how wonderful it will be when you are back together. Counting the days......ok hours.......oh ok then minutes.

4 years ago

AshenFenrir(dom male) - Thank you, to everyone who has given advice and helped auria. And you're absolutely right, ric. Even though it may manifest in different ways, that pain is all too real and mutual. So many little traits or nuances that so quickly become an integral part of our day that when they're no longer a part of our daily lives, their absence is almost overwhelming in their intensity. Just remember, auria...I'm heading home, the first chance I get. Soon, we'll be together again

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - *Croons at him* Can't return to me soon enough, Sir. I'm waiting~

4 years ago

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TheChimera​(sub female)

The Chimera's Whispers

Waiting...

TheChimera(sub female)