While my Dom visited, we visited my local BDSM club. They were having an open play party that night, and the next night was a special Leap Year's play party.
We went to the first play party, and we did a scene together. We used the new toy-box we have been building, and also borrowed some of the house-toys the Club had to offer.
Afterwards when we got back to our Airbnb. I mentioned to my Dom; "You know...I think I could have kept going... Do you think we could do that again tomorrow, but harder?"
I could almost hear the creak of the new door opening.
After a long discussion. I told my Dominant I wanted to push my limits. He became very stern and serious about it.
The next day we went out for lunch and we carefully went over verbal and nonverbal safewords/safe-gestures. We also touched base on the Club's safeword if we needed a Dungeon-Master to step in to assist.
Then, we went over boundaries, and the Club's rules together. Along with comprising a list of questions we would need to ask the club as well.
My Dominant warned me that unless I specified in my list of boundaries; nothing would be off the table. I took it in stride and I listed a few of my big red "No's"
One example is Degradation and humiliation by name calling. It's SLOWLY becoming a soft limit. I've let him call me a "Breeding Bitch" before after I called myself that. But, I know I still need to work on my self esteem. During a scene, my mind becomes vulnerable. If he were to cut loose and degrade me by calling me something like. "You filthy little whore. You just love being a skanky little slut, don't you?"
Some subs would drool and fall all over themselves with that sort of talk. Personally, I'd meltdown. I'd believe those words and base my worth to that. Especially if it comes from someone I adore like my Master...
It'd only serve to tear me apart. I know it would. And I expressed that worry to my Master during our discussion. I'm thankful he was respectful of it.
Another example is face-slapping. I've gotten into a few scraps growing up, and for some reason. Girls get it in their heads that face slapping is like... Some manner of intensely damaging thing.
Face slapping for me is just slamming your palm on a big red button that makes me want to deck that person in the face. (And I have a mean right hook- or so I've been told... )
After our deep discussion on those boundaries, we prepped for that night.
My Dominant spoiled me rotten... He bought a myriad of new toys that the club sold to use on me that night, a mix of thuddy things, stingy things, and pressure point-things. (Some of the ends can be used to press into pressure points.)
He surprised me with them.
I let him unleash a little more of his sadistic side, and I pushed my limit that night. Usually our scenes only run 45 minutes. This one lasted an hour and a half. Double the usual.
We moved from the A-frame to a bench where I was essentially- on my knees. I had singing welts and bruises all over my backside and thighs. His hits became harder and harder, and I was a drooling mess. (I'll try to blame the bar gag, but lets face it. It was moreso because I was in a really nice place mentally... )
I couldn't handle clothespins on my nipples before - I managed to have over 5 on my chest this time around. Surprisingly, this time I didn't cry. Usually one of my coping mechanisms is that I tear up and cry- it's like a reset button. I can keep going after I have a cry. This time I didn't. I kept rolling with it, and slid deep into sub space. We brought my textured blanket, and Squidlet along and I'm so glad we did that. It was really nice to cuddle under my blanket and cling to both my Dom and Squidlet after.
My Dominant kept telling me how proud he was of me. And you know what?
I'm a little proud of myself too.
We both really pushed my limits that night, and I had fun, and I'm hoping he did too. It was a really nice way to kind of cap off this visit.
I miss him a lot...