You're not a submissive. Maybe you're a switch." No kidding, someone told me that I don't know who/what I am.
So much for being open-minded, non-judgmental and not putting people into proscribed definitions.
In a way, I get it. I'm not exactly a complacent sub. By no means would I consider myself a "brat." I do not act out strictly for the purpose of instigating some form of attention whether positive or negative.
However, I am a challenge. I need to challenge. The one who is to dominate me would be frustrated and walk away if they give me pointless tasks, or commands without a logical reason or expectation. So, I will question and investigate instead of blindingly following along. I can't help it.
There are times I can comply quickly and easily (as a proper submissive would); but there are times when I need the rationale behind it.
For example:
Dom: Each day this week, at noon, you are to close your eyes and turn around in three circles.
Proper Sub: Yes, Sir.
How it would work with me:
Dom: Each day this week, at noon, you are to close your eyes and turn around in three circles.
Me: Why?
Dom: Because I told you to do so. (again, sometimes this will work)
Me: That sounds silly. Why would you want me to do that?
Dom: You are racing through life. You take on so much responsibility, you forget that there is someone responsible for you. Noon is a halfway point to your hectic day. It is a time you need to remember you belong to me. By closing your eyes, you will need to think of me and picture me there with you. The turning in circles is to help you focus on the fact that while you can't see and may become disoriented, I'm still here and in control. It is safe for you to lose your balance.
Does this mean I am not a submissive? Does it mean I am not a good submissive?
To me, it means that I am definitely not the submissive for an average Dom.
I like to run. I like to struggle and try to escape. Once again, NOT EVERY TIME but I spontaneously seem to get the urge to flee. Maybe it is after dinner, maybe it is while being tied up, maybe it is while giving head; but the urge hits and off I go!
One of my friends said to me, "Don't you like it?" (meaning the play, wax, flogging, whatever). I said, "Oh yes! I love it!" She said, "Then doesn't running or struggling sort of defeat the purpose?"
I had to stop and think about that.
If I had a Dom who was more likely to think, I don't chase subs. If she wants to be here, she'll have to stay put. If she runs, I'll just leave I'd be incredibly disappointed a great deal of the time.
So, I need that exceptional Dom. The one whose drive to capture and conquer exceeds my drive to run and struggle.
Can the two be reconciled? Can a submissive be challenging, flee spontaneously and struggle against her Dom while still being considered a submissive?
Yes, she/he can. I know this because I am one. I'll consider myself an acquired taste and wait for the Dom who sees me as a gourmet dish worth savoring.
In the same way there are Sensual Doms, Daddy Doms, and Sadistic Doms, I'm my own class of sub. Anyone care to join me?
