One of the very first powerful thoughts I had this summer (I was still deep in the medical scare fear which is why it did not get written at the time) was that I'm PROFOUNDLY grateful for the CHANCE and ABILITY to do a lot of "everyday" things here (in Canada) that I do not have the opportunity to do "back home" (a Middle Eastern country I reside in).
First off... I have windows that actually close here, and while I OPT to keep them open 99% of the time because (FRESH AIR SMELLS FUCKING AMAZING), those windows keep out the dust and dirt when I want them too. So I GET to sweep up every day and mop every few, but honestly, I could decide to skip a day and no one would notice. "Back home" sweeping up daily is NOT optional. My windows and doors are really exceptional quality for what's available to me but gaskets are not a thing. Master has never seen the home I lived in for 13 years, He has never seen anything like it, but I'd like to show Him someday.
So I move to the laundry where I have a washing machine and a DRYER ... like holy crap I love the drier. If I tell you I bring a sh** ton of my clothes with me just to wash and bring back on a transatlantic flight just because they feel better afterward. This year I'm supposed to be getting a dryer and I'll be literally the only person I know who has one. Most people hang their clothes and I get it, that can be a hygiene thing, but I hate the thought and feel of the dust and sand in them.
Don't get me started on the magic that is Tide pods. I freaking adore Tide pods and He was a freaking hero for packing up some and sending me home with them when He came to me last midyear. I made those suckers STRETCH man.
Then we go to the kitchen. I love to cook. I love it. This is not a chore for me HERE... I love it because there is so much variety I can cook with. There is SPACE and LIGHT in the kitchen. There are tools and gadgets and shit we got GIVEN two blenders and I don't mean like what I've got no no no... no no. We got GIVEN like a whole 10 piece set this year just because someone had two and didn't want it. I know I could get some of these things, but the comparative cost is just ludicrous. Back home, I cook on the stove in one pot. End of story. The oven has never worked and it uses a shit ton of gas and gas is VERY expensive. (The gas guy thinks I must be some kind of witch or something because my consumption is so low compared to most. He insists to come in and check the meter and take pics all the time. No dude, I am just cautious and I've a broken oven. My kitchen is roughly the size of a bathroom... and it's dark. It's not a place I want to be for any length of time... but HERE... I just don't have words for how fun it is to create intentional meals. To see Him smile when He walks in and smells the house. I know when He gets too engrossed in the meal to even speak, THAT is when I succeeded.
Back to the PRIVELEDGE ... then I move outdoors. We do not have a huge space, it's not an acreage or anything... but we have a front lawn, a front flowerbed, a side area that has become an outdoor vehicle space, a backyard, several backyard flowerbeds, some fruit trees and bushes, and a back alleyway. Over the last 3 summers I have really put in a LOT of work into those spaces. I used to spend days and days pulling all of the weeds out of the side area. There was an old man who lived across the way and he would come over and say: "I could watch a good hard day's work all day!" He also used to love to listen to me sing while I worked. He would sit on his front porch all day. It was not creepy, it was sweet. (He passed away before I got back this year and that broke my heart a bit. I used to call him the watchdog of the neighborhood. I miss him a lot. I have a few of his things now, and the figurines which guarded his porch now grace mine, just looking out at the other side of the street.) I spent days going shovel full of dirt at a time, pulling weeds out of good soil in all of the flowerbeds. Finally, last year Wwe planted some flowers. I was given some by His mom, and that felt HUGE. It can take me about an hour or more to mow the lawn. The first time I mowed the lawn when I was back this year I was beaming and just so incredibly grateful to have a lawn to mow. To have grass to walk on. To have a flowerbed to plant. To have fruit trees and bushes to tend and trim and harvest from. I stood in the heat of the afternoon a little bit sunburned, sweaty and dirty and I just grinned and marveled at the PRIVELEDGE it is to have that chance.
When W/we were getting grass seed for the lawn to overseed I saw a pair of gardening gloves my daughter's size and about cried. Not because I miss her (I do) but because there is absolutely no point in getting them. Back in my space I have no soil to call my own. I have no place she could dig a hole and plant a seed. Yes, I did do flowerpots at one point, except with the long summer I come back to everything dead. It's a waste... so I stopped. My doorman can't keep a plant alive to save his life, and how would he he has no reasonable expectation of experience! No one has a piece of land to call their own. We all live in huge apartment buildings, because actually, they are safer. If you dig a hole all you will find is orange yellow sand. Nothing more. Yes, there are "green spaces" but nothing she can ever feel the grass in her toes with! There would be broken glass and probably a fair few needles.
I GET to dig my hands in the soil and pull weeds and mow the lawn and plant flowers and prune trees... I get to do all of that because I'm incredibly blessed with the life I have been given.
I know in my own space I'm privileged too. I GET to work only one job. I GET to have food to cook in my own kitchen. I GET to go to sleep and know we are safe behind a locked steel door that it would take machinery to get into. We GET to go to the doctor when we need it and if I have to walk to 6 pharmacies to find meds because that's a REAL problem right now... well I have the money to buy that medication when I find it.
Yes, I opt to be MstrJ's slave, I prefer it that way... and one of the reasons is because when I stop and think about alllllll of the things I GET to do and GET to have I'm reminded of how privileged I am and I never take those things for granted. "Youth is wasted on the young" and opportunity is wasted on those who are blind to their privilege. Both of those statements are true in my life. I had all of this when I was young and living in the US, and I was blind to it all. I saw it all as "chores". I do not use that word anymore. EVER. Instead He tells me whether my focus should be "inside" or "outside" each day. I "get" to work on the lawn. I GET to mow the grass. I GET to do the laundry. I never "HAVE to" I GET to.
Perspective.
Thank You Master for all of the opportunities that life with You affords. I know You heard me this morning when I said "I'm looking forward to when W/we can take this for granted and I know You understood what I meant. No, I will never actually take things for granted, because keeping this perspective is a wonderful way to live in joy and gratitude. What I mean is... I look forward to the day when it isn't about counting days anymore. When time does not have an expiration date aside from the eternal one.
Within the last few weeks it seems that the message of how lucky I am, and how much of a bullet we dodged just keeps getting hammered home. One of our dearest friends is recovering from a tumor near his brainstem and it will apparently likely recur throughout his spinal column as time goes. Yesterday W/we learned that another friend and colleague's wife was just diagnosed with some severe form of cancer as well. They waited and worked for a long time and were just this year blessed with a baby. While a third couple W/we know are off living their last years together on a sailboat to cross items off their bucket list and make the last time worth it. Perspective is everything, and it can change so very very quickly.
(watch the video for the last one... it's about the video)
~His slaveMikayla; Faith