slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ }

Once you are made REAL

I, like the velveteen rabbit, have been made REAL. I have gone through the process of seeing my own truest self and nature. I know WHO I am, and that can never be taken from me.
I am a slave hearted submissive with a heart the size of the ocean and an emotional capacity wider than the sky.
I am a woman of Faith, though a believer of the truth and validity many religions.
I am a singer, a trained chef, and an amateur artist of no remarkable talent ^__^.
I am above all else; myself, the velveteen slave.
The Man who "made me Real" has moved on from the chapter of my life, however I will always remain with the deep and abiding understanding of who I am; for "once you are made real you can never be made unreal again."

This blog is a catalogue of my journey. It includes the lessons that I've learned while walking down my path. It serves to help me remember those lessons that I might retain them. It is my hope that it can provide insight to others as well, perhaps spark an understanding or a feeling of camaraderie.

~The Velveteen slave; Faith; His Mikayla{MstrJ}

*The girl accepted MstrJ's collar on 2/10/22 and her new name; Mikayla <3

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

3 years ago. May 29, 2020 at 5:53 PM

I'm not sure of this will end up being worked into a "Needs" post... but it is one I must write for me. I've never addressed here WHY I write these, but it is pertinent now. I write them because it helps me solidify ideas that are floating around in this muddled up head of mine. If I dont solidify them into something I can see and touch (in a way reading them again is just that) then I will never fully grasp them.

I have two concepts that are interrelated lessons and I don't quite know what their convergence will be... but they have been circling around my life path for four years and it is imperative that I learn this lesson NOW. I need to be done with this particular loop.

#1: Respect. No one will give it to you unless you insist upon it for yourself. Respect is not a dominant only trait. No one will argue that you should respect your Dominant partner, but they dont have a monopoly on this. As a submissive you are also worthy of respect. You can be of service, even enjoy all forms of humiliation, degradation, objectification... but even then you are still worthy of respect. Respect for the things you do, respect for the person you are, and respect of the needs you have. Any right to be degraded, objectified, humiliated, or put in a place of service of any kind is a right you give and thus worthy of respect. A side tangent here... even giving of those actions can be a form of respect. It is respecting you enough to accept that it is your right to ask for those things, to want them, to need them, and to have them in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. Denying you the right to ask for those things or like those things is a form of disrespect. Respect starts with yourself... with how you hold yourself. You must hold people to the line of your boundaries, and you must insist upon respect. "give em an inch and they will take a mile" is a very accurate statement here, sadly.

#2 Being accepted for that which im not, is the same thing as being rejected for that which I am.

*flails* This one is one that came about absolutely unintentionally. When I was faced with the prospect of returning to a previously imploded relationship I was afraid of rejection. He had denied me a part of who I am... and in a single moment it came out of my mouth... Accepting only a part of me is the same thing as rejecting who I am. That single realization was a HUGE leap forward for me. In that moment I understood that if he was only willing to have a part of me... he was still rejecting me. I can't do that. It isnt fair to him, it isnt fair to me. I dont want to just be accepted ... the word means nothing... I want to be accepted and loved and treasured for ALL of me.

I'm still working on how these two converge... anyone who has any input here... I'm all ears.

~The Velveteen Slave

Everything original artist: Alanis Morsette

my rendition: https://voca.ro/gfBlVOJW2x5

Needs Series Index:

Taken to Task: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=33947

#1 Time: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=33971

#2 Growth: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=34002

#3 Seen, Heard, Understood: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=34083

#4 Safety & Consistency: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=34741

#5 R.E.S.P.E.C.T: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=35049

#6 Love: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=35678

#7 Acceptance: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=35883

Finale: The tamed to the Tamer: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=36310

Follow up: The Gauntlet: EARN ME! https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944&postid=36373

Bishop(dom male) - Just my opinion...I think respect from others begins when we respect ourselves, which includes accepting ourselves for who we are. If I respect myself, I’m not going to let others walk all over me or want me to be someone I am not. If they respect me, not because I demand it, but because I respect myself and have healthy boundaries, then they will accept me for who I am...all of me, or the dynamic will not work.

3 years ago

Sir Don(dom male) - I agree with Bishop ... Respect begins with you.. when my son was young he told me one day. You have to respect me before i will respect you.. that was 15 years ago and he is still waiting...

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - I might have laughed too hard at that.

3 years ago

Naya - I really understand your thoughts here. Wanting a relationship with another human being is a fundamental part of all of us until we experience rejection that eats away at self respect and confidence.

All of us have the instinct to settle for something we think we want, maybe even need. But it can be trouble. The danger is that it breeds awful self doubt and can lead to a feeling that there is greener grass out there.

Is it right to settle, so that we are not alone? Loneliness is a god damn killer. Regret is another killer emotion. I have felt them both through my life.

Stand up, be proud of who you are and if you can convince yourself that your needs, physical and emotional, are not impossible to attain, you will command respect from any person who has the absolute pleasure of your acquaintance.

It’s bloody hard in a world where comparison to false perfection is used against us.

Keep on demanding what you need and want.

The only time you should compromise is when you don’t have to.

Naya x

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - Thank you Naya. I sincerely appreciate that. I left this particular post with a lot of ambiguity as to what it relates to for a reason. it is too current and too unformed to really address the issues that it pertains to. I do not lack my own self respect (but I appreciate the thoughts of the gentlemen above)... it is respect for another, that is the current issue. These two are lessons i've learned in my life over the last four years, but i'm watching someone I love deeply struggling with them, and it is very hard to watch.
You are absolutely right that you should never have to compromise on what you NEED, and what makes you absolutely fulfilled as a human being. At the same time, here is the kicker that people miss i think... the other person has the right to the same. I wouldnt want to be with someone I dont make deliriously happy to be with me .. that would be my own personal hell on earth. I want to be the person that he just can not believe is his. I want him to be driving down the road having to say it aloud to himself over and over again just to believe it is true. ... I deserve to be loved like THAT.... and so does my person, we all do.

Thank you, Naya, <3

3 years ago

Naya - I wholeheartedly agree. Respect is absolutely a two way street.

It can be heartbreaking to see this struggle in someone you love, all we can do is be present when they need an ear and be quiet in the background when things are good.

All will out in the fullness of time. Friends are a comfort blanket and a refuge when shit hits the fan, and a cheerleader when life is good.

It unconditional and crucial for all of us.

Naya x

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - You bet! Thank you for your comments, thank you for your engagement. I'm grateful. <3

3 years ago

MstrJ(switch male){~ENM~} - To be honest I struggle with both of these. Some days you find yourself so confident in your ability and the next it seems you can't even open a pickle jar.

Respect for oneself. That is part of the journey to commitment in this lifestyle. We all exist within our own universe, and no one else truly interacts with the inner workings except when we let them into our mind. You have to respect that you have needs, wants and desires. The other person has needs, wants and desires. It's exactly as you say, the desire in the relationship is to have someone who is deliriously happy having you in their life. But that takes understanding what it is you need, and allowing the time to see if you truly line up with your desires with one another. But it all begins with respecting what you bring, what you may offer this other person.

That's a truly profound thought. "Accepting only part of me is the same as rejecting who I am". We want to be seen for all that we are. We want that person to look at us, scars, wounds, burns and the places we had to work and rebuild. The layers of construction that we have done to improve our structure. To be seen in our complete form, and not have them scoff, or cringe. To have them open their arms and hug us harder because of those wounds and scars. We all need to take the time to find someone who is willing to see us this way.

Thank you for taking the time to express yourself. I appreciate your honesty, and I hope you continue to find your way.

3 years ago

HisHunnyBun(sub female){Taken} - Another of Aretha Franklin's songs that would fit
"Think"

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - Absolutely!

3 years ago

HisHunnyBun(sub female){Taken} - Considering some people don't know how to do that apparently 😅

3 years ago

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ } - Whoops. Yeah.... there are some that have that problem... ick.

3 years ago

HisHunnyBun(sub female){Taken} - As you can tell by my collar
My Dom left me.
Clearly didn't show me some
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
😠😡😤

song for my man should be
slow hand (Conway Twitty)

3 years ago

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slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ }

Once you are made REAL

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

slaveMikayla(sub female){MstrJ }