R.E.S.P.E.C.T

5 years ago. Friday, May 29, 2020 at 1:53 PM

I'm not sure of this will end up being worked into a "Needs" post... but it is one I must write for me. I've never addressed here WHY I write these, but it is pertinent now. I write them because it helps me solidify ideas that are floating around in this muddled up head of mine. If I dont solidify them into something I can see and touch (in a way reading them again is just that) then I will never fully grasp them.

I have two concepts that are interrelated lessons and I don't quite know what their convergence will be... but they have been circling around my life path for four years and it is imperative that I learn this lesson NOW. I need to be done with this particular loop.

#1: Respect. No one will give it to you unless you insist upon it for yourself. Respect is not a dominant only trait. No one will argue that you should respect your Dominant partner, but they dont have a monopoly on this. As a submissive you are also worthy of respect. You can be of service, even enjoy all forms of humiliation, degradation, objectification... but even then you are still worthy of respect. Respect for the things you do, respect for the person you are, and respect of the needs you have. Any right to be degraded, objectified, humiliated, or put in a place of service of any kind is a right you give and thus worthy of respect. A side tangent here... even giving of those actions can be a form of respect. It is respecting you enough to accept that it is your right to ask for those things, to want them, to need them, and to have them in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. Denying you the right to ask for those things or like those things is a form of disrespect. Respect starts with yourself... with how you hold yourself. You must hold people to the line of your boundaries, and you must insist upon respect. "give em an inch and they will take a mile" is a very accurate statement here, sadly.

#2 Being accepted for that which im not, is the same thing as being rejected for that which I am.

*flails* This one is one that came about absolutely unintentionally. When I was faced with the prospect of returning to a previously imploded relationship I was afraid of rejection. He had denied me a part of who I am... and in a single moment it came out of my mouth... Accepting only a part of me is the same thing as rejecting who I am. That single realization was a HUGE leap forward for me. In that moment I understood that if he was only willing to have a part of me... he was still rejecting me. I can't do that. It isnt fair to him, it isnt fair to me. I dont want to just be accepted ... the word means nothing... I want to be accepted and loved and treasured for ALL of me.

I'm still working on how these two converge... anyone who has any input here... I'm all ears.