So ready to get on a plane to get back home to Him.
So ready for all that is possible this trip.
It's been a long few months, but at the same time it has flown by quicker than last year.
This time last year we were waiting to welcome him here, and that was a very different feeling. Both are wonderful and good. When welcoming Him here the focus is on giving Him an amazing experience, and also on family time. It was really exciting to know that I had this huge surprise for our daughter. Watching her sit at the airport and telling her to just watch the door, that she would know her Christmas gift when it got here. Watching her eyes light up and she gasped "MstrJ!" and ran to Him. Then showing Him life here, all the good, and beautiful, and weird, and wtf that life is here... it was excellent. However, there are limitations at that point. W/we have to be cautious about what W/we can say and do, and again, small ears and eyes are involved. So it was absolutely wonderful, but also to be honest, limiting as well.
Going Home to Him is completely different.
There is a very unique excitement and anticipation. W/we get to exist very differently. There are no small ears or eyes, and no expectations aside from His.
Yes, W/we have family to consider, and this time that has meant altering O/our initial plans. Little do they know their kindness and care has completely disrupted plans for a hell of a scene W/we have been planning for WEEKS. (They are really keen to meet us for dinner when I get in, as opposed to a few days later). However, the fact that they *want* to interact and want to be there to welcome me back home is very important to acknowledge. In a way, that's their support of the relationship and what they can do to be involved and show consideration.
This time, at least at this moment, there are not nerves. That's new. This is the first time that I'm not at all nervous. I know that He knows me. I know that He is fully aware of every thing I have to offer, and every drawback that comes with me. I know that I will not disappoint Him in any way, and I know that He wants me...
This trip has a different focus than previous ones. The first time it was just feeling eachother out really, and seeing if in person clicked. That was 3 years ago.
Then was that summer and that was to see His space and see if W/we got on in living life life for a short time.
Then I went back for last Spring break and that was dipping my toe into Winter, and honestly, W/we were so starved for affection it was "filling the cup".
Last summer it was seeing how W/we got in in the same space over an extended time. Do W/we do "life life" well, or will we drive each other nuts or anything.
Each stage has just a slightly different feeling.
This time all of that groundwork is done. W/we have all those answers and all of that baseline. Now it's coming home and now W/we are going to get to dive just a little deeper into dynamic. It's exciting. It's coming home. truly. No nerves, just ... anticipation.
Every trip He sends me a song which sets the tone for my trip... waiting for this time's when He wakes up ^_^
last trip's
mine for this year:
His slaveMikayla