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Once you are made REAL

I, like the velveteen rabbit, have been made REAL. I have gone through the process of seeing my own truest self and nature. I know WHO I am, and that can never be taken from me.
I am a slave hearted submissive with a heart the size of the ocean and an emotional capacity wider than the sky.
I am a woman of Faith, though a believer of the truth and validity many religions.
I am a singer, a trained chef, and an amateur artist of no remarkable talent ^__^.
I am above all else; myself, the velveteen slave.
The Man who "made me Real" has moved on from the chapter of my life, however I will always remain with the deep and abiding understanding of who I am; for "once you are made real you can never be made unreal again."

This blog is a catalogue of my journey. It includes the lessons that I've learned while walking down my path. It serves to help me remember those lessons that I might retain them. It is my hope that it can provide insight to others as well, perhaps spark an understanding or a feeling of camaraderie.

~The Velveteen slave; Faith; His Mikayla{MstrJ}

*The girl accepted MstrJ's collar on 2/10/22 and her new name; Mikayla <3
1 month ago. May 15, 2024 at 5:31 PM

Deep Thought here...

42; the answer to Life the Universe and Everything. 

(If you know, you know)





I've gotten my fair share of very odd compliments in my life:


"Your moral compass is pointing due north and refuses to budge!" (said as a cutdown, but I consider it a compliment)

"There is nothing happy median about you, you are a balls to the walls, all out, CANNONBALL all in kinda girl." 

"Did you ever consider for a second that YOU are the reward?" (discussing the use of the word "karma")

"You have been the test for more "Doms" than you know. Men get close to you, walk up to you, measure themselves and then walk away. You never know it happens, but they do." 


These were said by people before MstrJ. 

Before Him I had a very hard time accepting compliments. He had to do actual work to teach me how to hear them and accept them. 

Before MstrJ I had to write them down in a book to hold onto them because I could not internalize them. 

MstrJ has given me more compliments than I can ever write here, but I have a few favorites... the strangest one and the one I'd like to explain here is "I'd happily divorce her" said about me to several people on several occasions. Yes, I hear the almost audible WTF most of you just uttered. HOW is that a compliment? 

Ok, it was not originally said to cause that reaction. It was a completely legitimate statement, and it is a reason He loves me. 

Let me explain.

When W/we met W/we were actually both going through the end stages of respective divorces. Mine was messy AF and included a custody battle. His was ugly, if not messy. 

I think this was the greatest gift W/we have been given. 

I was witness to His behavior at the end of a marriage. I watched Him intentionally consider her needs moving forward. I listened to Him genuinely discuss what He needed and could do to set her up for potential success in her life, EVEN AT A COST TO HIM. This woman who had hurt Him DEEPLY. I was tiger GRRRRR pissed FOR Him. I wanted to rip her G/D head off! He was a gentleman at every step. I respected every decision. I even had a moment where I had to talk His father down and explain WHY He was doing what He was doing and why he should be proud of His son (and not try to browbeat Him into picking fights He didnt believe in). I'd go through a divorce with Him and trust that He would not be out for blood. It would suck. It would hurt... but I could divorce Him. 


He was witness to the tail end of my divorce, especially the custody battle. He has seen how I handle parental issues with my daughter's father. He has seen what I will (and won't) do. He has seen how I communicate (and don't) how I'm honest but not transparent and the logic between those things. It is as a result of that that, when asked why He would consider marriage again, he replies: "I would happily divorce her". He then goes on to explain that He knows even when things are down and all hell has broken loose and everything is in tatters I'm not vengeful. I'm respectful. I'm not out for myself alone and I am not cruel or malicious. These things are not in me, no matter what someone has done to me. He trusts me with my future and His, not only in the best of times; but also if it does not work out. 


Yep, W/we would happily divorce each other, and by that, we mean that Wwe can see a future together because if it were to end we know that it would not do so in flames and animosity, it would be terrible... it would be devastating. Neither of U/us wants that or can imagine any situation that would cause it to happen... but it is only because of this knowledge that W/we can truly say "I trust Y/you" not just in the good, but in the harder times too. 



Here's to finding the O/one Y/you would happily divorce. ;)


Thank You for seeing me, for knowing me, for loving me, for being the Man worthy of my trust and respect. Hurry up forever, I am ready! (So long as the Love shall last.)


His slaveMikayla

^if you don't watch it, you missed out!


SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - I have my towel, I’m ready to hitchhike! 😁 That’s an interesting hot take, Sweet Girl. Not entirely sure I’m convinced but I do believe the connection you two have is beautiful and rare. I’m hella glad you were stubborn, MstrJ was persistent, and I was wrong. 😘
1 month ago
slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - ROFL. It was definitely a conversation that's easier to explain when present. The conversation was originally with a dear friend and her husband (who I introduced to each other). So when He came here they wanted to vet Him too. So when the husband had talked to ME he asked me "so, you've been divorced twice, why exactly do you think this will work out any better?" My answer was equally interesting, but revolved around my growth. When they met MstrJ this was the question to Him and His answer. ^__^ Makes more complete sense?
1 month ago
SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) - It does, but just because you could divorce one another and stay compassionate and kind doesn’t mean it’s optimal. Selfishly WE (the royal ‘we’ as I am talking about meself and assuming everyone else is on board!) want you two to make it. I don’t know him as well as I do you but I am 100% sure that you both are deserving and are worthy stewards of the love and relationship you have cultivated together.
4 weeks ago
slaveMikayla​(sub female){MstrJ } - oh hell yes, absolutely! No one is hoping for that... but I guess point is it's better to end up with someone who is good at their best and still good at their worst? Everyone has their best foot forward in the beginning honeymoon stage when they can get what they want out of a relationship. It takes a good human to still be a good person, honorable etc when they have nothing left to gain? <3
4 weeks ago
Bunnie - This was really lovely to read. I often got/get a surprised response from people when I speak so highly of my ex-husband. It didn’t seem odd to us that we loved and respected eachother during our divorce. What surprised (and saddened) me was actually coming to learn how rare that is. Even amicability. Or even just decency! Endings suck, and I’ve come to learn there’s no way for something to end without pain involved. It’s simply how we handle that pain.
Your journey together has been so beautiful to witness in the snippets you share with us. Thank you.
4 weeks ago

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