Now I'm going to be honest that that title is absolute clickbait... but it's also hilarious.
Ok, so I've been debating about posting this for a WHILE... and I'm actually hoping it will bring some smiles and some levity.
Some important back story. MstrJ has been my kiddo's father figure for just under half of her actual life. Actually, she does not consciously remember a time that He wasn't there. Every single tooth she has ever lost has been "with Him", to the extent that the one time she lost a tooth while He was at work she insisted that I get on the gosh darn phone and call Him because He was the only thing that would comfort her. She has a very mildly wiggly tooth right now and she was arguing with me before I left that she wanted to get it pulled just so that it wouldn't fall out while I was gone (in which case she couldn't call Him).. (He did not know that until reading this).
In fact, His name here: MstrJ is actually from HER. When she was 4 1/2 she wrote Him a card and didn't know how to spell yet, so MISTER came out Mstr. Well, W/we both adored it so much that that became His name, and the card is still on the fridge. It has also become His monogram which is sewn onto His golf shoes ^_^.
Which brings me to today's story. Before MstrJ there were a few significant others in my life. I do not think she has any memory of two of them (Thank Fuck) but she apparently has some conscious memory of one. A few weeks before I came back for the summer I received an email from that significant person. I was reading it beside her when she looked over and she lost her ever living mind at me. "Is that NAME?" "Yes. I didn't know you remembered him" (she cut me off mid sentence) "Does MstrJ know?! MOM I'm telling Him! Give me the phone!" (I bust out laughing) "Baby, yes, MstrJ knows, actually I introduced them and W/we are all in a group chat together." (she was huffy and crossing her arms and just visually perturbed) So I opened the chat I have with MstrJ and opened a voice message and proceeded to greet Him and tell Him that O/our kiddo would not be calm until she made SURE that He knew I was conversing with *other person* and that it was okay with Him and that I was not irrevocably messing up our lives. Could He please confirm for her that it was okay." Then I sent it and showed her that the grey check marks meant that it had been sent. Then I let her keep the phone in her hands until she saw the checkmarks turn blue indicating that He had seen it. Then the angel girl took the phone to her room until she read what He sent telling her that it was completely okay.
THAT right there is freaking gold. I love that my kiddo loves Him and U/us so much that she would go to such lengths to be sure that it's safeguarded, even from me.
Now, that night He and I had a conversation with her while she was wrapped tightly in my arms. W/we explained that one of the promises He has made me is that even of something completely unforeseen happens and He exits the relationship with me, He will never exit her life. He has promised me that He will maintain that relationship with her in whatever capacity He can. She broke down crying and then visibly relaxed. I had no idea that she was holding that fear/worry. No parent who has had a divorce or been through significant relationships that have ended WANT to create abandonment issues in their kids. I'd like to take a moment to shoutout to all the D types who step up to the bat and actively work to prevent it. The D types who stand up to the challenge of being a good fill in parent; pills, bills, and everything in between. Y'all deserve recognition and a round of applause. Especially ones who never intended to have kids of their own, but decided that they could manage that responsibility and understand the privilege but also depth of what that means.
Thank You for creating such a strong bond with "Big Girl". Thank You for being the most amazing Man I've ever known. Thank You for helping me parent her and show her what honest and healthy communication looks like. Thank You for helping me ease that fear I did not know was there.
I love that she apparently thinks she loves You even more than I do. <3 I'll accept that.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iKMBhWNijDY
PS... this would be Him ^_^ He's 100% do this.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DkAb1fQpuMM
~His slaveMikayla
