My Daddy is the center of my world. He spins my world and brings order, accountability and love to my chaotic world (and trust me it's chaotic). I am an alpha baby girl. For me this it means that my submissive side is for my Daddy only. He is the only one who brings out the submissive side of me and he does this simply by his voice. I am dynamic, assertive and often dominant in most areas of my life, but I am Daddy's little submissive, slut and fuck toy. Daddy is my safe place, my rock and my hero.
Over the last 18 months, a pesky little thing crept into my life - ANXIETY. All of my experience with depression and anxiety has been through observations of family and friends who openly (and bravely) talk about their challenges. My anxiety hit like a ton a bricks. I am the master of stress and emotional avoidance. I have also been labeled a brick wall or emotionally unavailable. I called it self preservation. We all have our experiences in pain and loss that can shut up down from being available to anyone. Brave are those who forge forward. For a long time I was not brave.
Daddy makes me brave, Daddy is my shield. Daddy will be the first to tell you that I am a stubborn ass. Actually, he probably calls me that a couple times a week (do not consider this with being bratty). Daddy loves my passion and conviction. Daddy also says I dance, recently he called me his tiny dancer. It's something I treasure. Daddy will tell you I will dance around a topic if I do not want to talk about it. It took a long time for Daddy to break these walls down around me. He is bruised and still recovering from it. But that is what makes Daddy, my Daddy. He sees so much more in me that I see in myself.
I suppose this initial blog post is for Daddy to honor his fight. Also, hopefully to encourage Doms to not give up on that submissive that seems to be difficult. My Daddy would say that I have been such a challenge, I have fought him EVERY STEP of the way. He would also say that my submission is beautiful, loving and magical (hopefully). We have discovered the key to our dynamic is adapting to our needs, not following what would be described as a typical DD/bg relationship. One of the ways we have adapted our relationship is Daddy has loosened my reigns to allow me to surprise and show Him love. Sometimes, for me especially, the tighter the reigns the harder I bucked. Once they were loosened, I was able to submit to a level that was completely consensual and giving.
Thank you Daddy for believing in me.
