When I first came to this lifestyle, I was so overwhelmed with all the different subsets. I felt like I had to pick one and that was what I was and I couldn't change or modify myself. I went through the list, but felt like none were 100 percent what I was. I questioned then if I truly belonged here. After a lot of research and talking to people, I slowly came to the realization that it is okay to not be fully one sub type. I am a fruit salad mix of many.
A large percentage of me is little girl (age 8-14 depending on my mood, aka middle girl). At first I thought this meant I had Daddy issues. I learned that no, it means I take joy in the simple things; drawing, Disney movies, stuffies, anime, and everything pink!!! If it's sparkly and glittericious, I WANT IT!! As a lg, I am carefree and happy more often. I dance, sing, skip, giggle, laugh. I crave cuddles and attention. I may pout and baby talk at times. I often turn to this side when I am overwhelmed or extremely excited. But to be honest, she is never far from the surface. She can be seen in everyday moments just with how I say or do things. All these things do not make me less of a woman, less sexual and sensual. I can't speak for all lg's, but this side of me is not the one who often comes out in the bedroom.
I have a large percentage in me that is a Brat. She is a tease. She is the one who sends naughty photos to Daddy with suggestive words. She is often the part of me apparent when I write my erotic stories, as they usually are tongue in cheek. She likes to test Daddy's willpower by pushing to see what she can get away with, but in no way is she disrespectful. I have begun to think she exasperates Daddy, but he also seems to enjoy the challenge, as I often catch him smirking over her antics. She and my Masochistic side are best friends. She causes the trouble that leads to the painful spankings my Maso side craves and loves. That's right I love pain. We haven't figured out how much pain yet, but let's just say I had a C-section and took no pain meds for it after. So I have a very high pain tolerance. I often challenge Daddy to hit harder because I say I don't feel it. I'm sure he does feel it lol. I like my nipples bit, pinched, and clamped. Same goes for my clit. I like my clit smacked, and no, I don't mean a love tap. She enjoys being tied up or incapacitated and spanked, flogged or a switch taken to her whole body. No I may not be a extreme Maso but I have enough in me that would make a Vanilla person shudder. I enjoy taking photos of Daddy's Mark's on me just so I can oooh and ahhh over them later. There are times she disapears and I am not in the mood for pain. This is when I have to be in touch with my needs and let Daddy know.
Now meet my Kitten. I love animalistic sex with scratching (to point of blood), biting (leaves bruises), loud moaning and screaming that even neighbors can hear. I love wearing my cat ears with bells, and having my nails done as stilettos to look like claws. Daddy said he is going to buy me a tail butt plug 😍. I will rub and stroke my body against his body, mew in disappoint when he stops petting me, I enjoy being stroked head to bottom, and licking Daddy randomly. I bite in frustration, or claw... which leads to punishment. But once again I am not wholly pet. There are things that those who truly immerse themselves into the pet mind enjoy, that I get no pleasure from. I'm not bad mouthing their kink. It just doesn't fit me.
I have been told I have a good bit of slave in me but I denied it a lot in the beginning. I'm still honestly trying to figure out how I fit in this subset. To be honest, now I feel I am a mix of slave and submissive. I know I need to submit total power to my Daddy. It gives my chaotic world a sense of control. I get overwhelmed with options and prefer him to just be in control of everything. I like him approving my food, clothing, beauty choices, but if I really want something I do try to negotiate (no, not top from bottom). I am to exercise daily. He sets up all my Dr appointments and beauty ones. He attends all with me, because interacting with other people at times scares me, he provides a sense of safety. During the week I am not allowed TV, just my phone and books. I have a chore list that is expected to be finished by the end of day. He approves of my friends I am allowed to talk to, because even with my trust issues, I am gullible and like to see the best in everyone. It keeps me from being hurt or taken advantage of. I have a bedtime I have to stick to. Even when my brat side is out I am extremely obedient. He says stop, it stops. He tells me to do something, I do it. I live to please him. The thought that he is unhappy with me brings me to tears. Hearing praise or I am a Good Girl is better than any chocolate, stuffy or love words I have or could ever receive. I fully admit that I have a problem saying no. I want to please him so much that at times I will do things that make me uncomfortable or may not like. His sexual pleasure and satisfaction in the bedroom is my goal. I will use my tongue to caress and lick...my mouth to suck and bite..hands to stroke and tug. He is allowed use of all 3 of my holes in anyway that pleases him.
So as you can see, I am not just one subtype. Instead, they are all little bits and pieces of what makes up me. By realizing that, I have come to think of submissives as snowflakes...no two are exactly alike. Pick and choose what you like and just be the best sub you can be for your Dom/Domme.
