Preface: from the book of Jane; Do you comprehend the responsibility you will hold in your hand? In your hand he gives the two most important thing's your Dom has. He gives to your care his hart and his sole that is what this very special kind of man trusts you with not only must you keep him safe and whole you must feed his soul with the food of love and dedication his needs become yours even before your own wants.
responsibility
When I first heard this from Jane I understood what she said and I thought I knew what she was telling me and I did. But it was not until later that I felt what she meant. When we first lost our Jane he was a rock in a stormy sea he handled all the sudden responsibilities seeing to her and Ann's funeral the celebration of their lives the care for Jen arranged her hospital care the rehab saw to Jo-Beth's mine Sue's and Deb's emotional support. Then he went to his office alone. When I went in to call him to dinner I was back in the uniform of the sub's stocking thong and bra. He was sitting in his easy chair in front of the fireplace looking at the ern that now contained the ashes of the first four of his ladies along with their photo's I knelt in front of him and waited to be allowed to speak but when he looked down at me I froze for his eyes were cold and filled with hate not at me but just in general I had seen this look in others but never in my sir. It was a look of insanity when his eyes cleared somewhat I got a glimpse of what hell looked like. When I told him dinner was ready he looked at me and said its good to see the house is back to normal. But there was a tone of contempt in it he then said please just go on I won't be coming to dinner. At first we just thought good let him greave let him work it out his way. But we could not ignore the difference in him where before he would talk in a voice of care to us with patience and love now he spoke to us with at best indifference at worst he would answer with tone of you dumb bitch. This went on for three weeks all he did was drink and sit staring at the ern. Finally in desperation we called Mary, Jane's daughter she listened and said you should not have left him alone one of you should have curled up in his lap and waited send the plane I'll be ready when it gets here.
She arrived early the next morning we gathered and she asked who was the first to submit to him (yes she knew she was raised in the house) I said I was and she said let me guess mom told you what your responsibility was but not the why or how of it right. I said yes but I did not know till this happened the importance. Well don't be mad at yourself it is as much my fault as mom's I should have made sure you knew what to do. By now I'm sure you have all seen the hell that he lives in his sole is I'm sorry to say in an almost permanent hell tell me are there any bodies to be berried or has he lost his temper with any one. Good he has not lost control this time. Unlike last time when he lost Dena he went quit insane and almost killed the man who killed her. I have to get ready he needs his little girl she grabbed her bags and went to change. When she came back down she looked completely different she looked like a little doll like a child no make up and frankly funny go ahead and laugh without the come fuck me daddy make up I use with my husband I do look funny but he needs to see his little girl.
cont....
