I never have because it's never occurred to me. It turns out it's a thing. As an adamant bachelor I never plan on long-term relationships with any woman - as awesome as she may be or how much I like and respect her! - only a fwb or a hookup or a short-term, or until the fucking fades.
Today was the very first time I ever considered a smooth sack. I feel a little foolish but in lieu of professional therapy, I choose to come clean; not just to myself but to the eyes and impressions of the world, at least our spunky, expanding kinky world.
Remember. I didn't do it but here goes (deep breath, ohmmmm) -
I would have done it and for what is surely one of the dumbest reasons thinkable: I needed a dick pic. Yep. It was that stupid.
As all good stories necessarily must, mine begins with the simple statement "So, there was this girl..."
She is mesmerizing, young, intelligent, beautiful, vulnerable in a way that makes me want to hold her and hug her and save her and send her a few wiener snaps. She is super duper cool and I like her a lot in a friendly, platonic, we should totally hang out sometime kinda way - but I so wanna tap that!
We had a couple casual conversations about how sometimes people kinda toss around the idea of maybe, under the right circumstances, not us but other weirdos, occasionally discuss exchanging naughty pics, and the next thing I knew there I was standing in my bathroom, considering my potential in the mirror, thinking, "Dab a little cream here, work a razor over there, and.. voila" my new pubics sparkling and shining with that new dick smell as if I had just driven them off the lot.
And with any luck, having somehow augmented my ego a whopping 1/8 inches, which of course it would not have. It would still be my cock, just as I remembered it, my little buddy, Gilligan to my Skipper, only a more razor rash-y, cock o'clock stubble-y, penis zero - unaltered by the experience in any appreciable, measurable, visible way. (Seriously though how cool would it be if it were just that simple!)
Remember, I didn't do it. I don't know with any certainty whether or not she would even give a shit about that elusive 1/8 inch, or even notice, or if she has any but a friendly interest in me or my cock. But it pleases me to think that she just might.
And in that moment is where I find an extra 1/8 inch. Possibly 3/16.
(orig. post 6/23/19)
