These are some of the funniest things I have ever overheard in grocery stores, on busses, just random places. Some might have made perfect sense in context but, luckily for me, right place/right time:
- "You know those times when you wake up and your breath is so bad that you really should go brush your teeth, but you're too tired to get out of bed so you figure fuck it I'll just live with the breath?"
- "Then when it's nice and warm you can eat it."
- "That's usually where I go when I want to get a facial."
- "And I didn't even notice my sock was wet until I got back into bed."
- "Remember that time that I shoved your nose in my ass and held it there for like 10 seconds?"
"Yeah, that was fucking awesome!"
- "Ok, fine, Elvis sucked but that didn't make him gay."
"But how do you know for sure?"
"Because if he was he probably wouldn't have died on the toilet."
- "If it was meant to go in there then the end would be bigger."
- "Have you ever noticed how many different kinds of sex there are in the dairy section?"
(the rest of the conversation was hilarious but I'm not including it here because it could be seen by some as insensitive.)
Those are the ones I can recall. Please put yours in your comments.