We are saddened to announce the recent passing of our beloved wooden spoon Chef. At the request of his entire family - Myself, my gorgeous whore ButterfliesAndCuffs, and all his brothers and sisters - notice was withheld during our time of mourning.
His end was abrupt and sudden, but he died in mid-swing while doing what he loved most: beating my dear slut's sweet ass.
Please read a full obituary she wrote for him here.
There may be other spoons like him, but there was only one Chef, and it has already required 3 new additions to the family to help us fill the absence left by his loss.
It should be known that, though he can never swing to the beat again, his remains will be reassembled and retired to a place of honor amongst his brothers and sisters.
He will not be forgotten.
RIP