Hey! Pick one! We all have them. some more than others. Some of us spend our lives hiding from them. But not most of us. Most of us do however share a common fear. Vanilla or Kinky it does not matter. it starts with us at a VERY young age, you know .. it was one of those "check yes or no" notes from early on. In our mind, and in our hearts, we had PUT IT ALL OUT THERE on the line! We took the plunge, we exposed ourselves to possible humiliation and worse yet ........ the possibility of .... dare I say it! ..
If it went well, we got a little confidence out of it for next time, but lets be real.. it probably did not go well.. did it? But .. It set an example, taught us the wrong lesson to be certain, and began to build a foundation for disaster for the future. So life goes on, our relationships become more complex, sometimes we even stay in them just to not be alone, or for fear of what leaving may cause to happen. But each and every time we have a relationship die, we tend to bring a little "wisdom" with us into the future.
"Wisdom" huh? More like a virtual land mine, and we bury that bugger close to us too! We set warnings up for the future, "if X happens with another relationship, I am outta there! I know the warning signs!" Get enough of them around you and you're gonna be pretty damn safe from getting hurt. You are also going to be alone. You see, you know they are there, but the poor fool who is trying to care for you, get to know you, take a chance on a future with you, they don't know they are there. All they know is they keep getting blown up. And there is a limited number of times that can happen before they run for the hills (of course then you can say they just were not serious about you)
So what's the point here? the point is PLEASE don't judge your new flame by your old ashes! Let the past die, don't make somebody new pay for crimes in your past committed by people you yourself have even decided to get rid of! Give the poor bastard (or lady!) a chance, they stepped out there, wrote the note, just check yes or no, and if you check yes, do it with an open mind. And if you check no, just say so, most won't take offense, but rather be glad to get an answer.
Now I am not saying go into it blind, or not to use common sense, I am also not saying I myself am innocent, because I am not, what I am saying is feel from your heart, not your history. IMHO, to define a person, one could say a person is "the sum total of their life experiences" - so no two can be alike, like snowflakes. Therefore not all actions share the same root motivation in people, we're all human, we all make mistakes, just don't pass by a potential partner for the sins of a former.......
here -- give this a listen, it may help put a fine finish on my rambling :)
