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A Dom's Tale ~ The journey there and back again

Thoughts and notes on the journey.....
4 years ago. October 6, 2020 at 6:37 PM

 

Hey! Pick one! We all have them. some more than others. Some of us spend our lives hiding from them. But not most of us. Most of us do however share a common fear. Vanilla or Kinky it does not matter. it starts with us at a VERY young age, you know .. it was one of those "check yes or no" notes from early on. In our mind, and in our hearts, we had PUT IT ALL OUT THERE on the line! We took the plunge, we exposed ourselves to possible humiliation and worse yet ........ the possibility of .... dare I say it! ..

 

If it went well, we got a little confidence out of it for next time, but lets be real.. it probably did not go well.. did it? But .. It set an example, taught us the wrong lesson to be certain, and began to build a foundation for disaster for the future. So life goes on, our relationships become more complex,  sometimes we even stay in them just  to not be alone, or for fear of what leaving may cause to happen. But each and every time we have a relationship die, we tend to bring a little "wisdom" with us into the future.

 

 

"Wisdom" huh? More like a virtual land mine, and we bury that bugger close to us too!  We set warnings up for the future, "if X happens with another relationship, I am outta there! I know the warning signs!" Get enough of them around you and you're gonna be pretty damn safe from getting hurt.  You are also going to be alone. You see, you know they are there, but the poor fool who is trying to care for you, get to know you, take a chance on  a future with you, they don't know they are there. All they know is they keep getting blown up. And there is a limited number of times that can happen before they run for the hills (of course then you can say they just were not serious about you)

 

So what's the point here? the point is PLEASE don't judge your new flame by your old ashes! Let the past die, don't make somebody new pay for crimes in your past committed by people you yourself have even decided to get rid of! Give the poor bastard (or lady!) a chance, they stepped out there, wrote the note, just check yes or no, and if you check yes, do it with an open mind. And if you check no, just say so, most won't take offense, but rather be glad to get an answer.

 

 

Now I am not saying go into it blind, or not to use common sense, I am also not saying I myself am innocent, because I am not, what I am saying is feel from your heart, not your history. IMHO, to define a person, one could say a person is "the sum total of their life experiences"  - so no two can be alike, like snowflakes. Therefore not all actions share the same root motivation in people, we're all human, we all make mistakes,  just don't pass by a potential partner for the sins of a former.......

 

here -- give this a listen,  it may help put a fine finish on my rambling  :)

 

 

 

 

 

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I agree with you that the present person should not have to atoine for the errors of the past, but let me give you an example of human behavior.

You are driving down a snow covered road. You are not used to driving in the snow so it's a new experience. Suddenly, your car starts to slide and spin out of control and you get into an accident. A minor accident but you are shaken up.

You get a new car and again, you are driving down that same road in another winter storm. You slow down as you approach that same spot and AGAIN, a patch of ice takes you out.

You have to go down that road because it's the only way to get where you are going. Again, you get a new car and AGAIN, you have to drive down that same, fucking, snow covered road.

You creep along, slower than anyone else. Why? Because of fear of what can happen. The cars are different, but the driver is not.

The driver needs to be willing to face their fear before speed can be increased, and that is an internal thing and that takes WILLINGNESS. The letting go happens long after the attempt to overcome fear is started. It is the LAST step, not the first.
4 years ago
IowaDom​(dom male) - To answer this in my blogs meaning, I would say yes, you still travel the road, you do so more wisely than before, but you do not avoid the road itself because you had an accident on it, you merely adjust how you travel it, embracing all factual conditions. :)
4 years ago
BigBubbles - Easier said then done, when everyone seems to be a reincarnation from a ghost in your past. After each one I reset the walls on a spring loaded trap. They go up quicker each time.
4 years ago
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} - ⬆️⬆️⬆️what she said.😜
4 years ago
IowaDom​(dom male) - There is nothing easy about it, it is hard to do, I guess my point was, don't execute the jaywalkers, all they did was cross the street wrong. I certainly never meant to say you should ignore life's lessons, but simply do not assume that everybody who jaywalks is going to rob the local supermarket just because the robbers jaywalked.
4 years ago
BigBubbles - My brain knows this. My heart has earplugs in. 🙉
4 years ago
IowaDom​(dom male) - It's not earplugs really, it's just your mind doing what it thinks is the best way to protect you from being hurt, and someday, not today, not tomorrow, only you will know, it will heal enough to regain it's own voice :)
4 years ago

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