Sadie's Sweets

There’s been good times in the lifestyle and bad times in the lifestyle for me and mine, and I keep coming back for more. What brings me back? Two main things.

Communication

I love all of the communication that goes into make relationships work in the lifestyle. Earning trust and sharing experiences.

Acceptance

In the greater world of kink there is a place for everyone no matter who or what you are or like.

Check out the video for more of my thoughts!

What a ride making this video was!

Cupping (Suction) Set

Hygiene

Since our focus is on playing with yourself I didn’t go through my usual cautions regarding hygiene. As always make sure everything is nice and clean. You can order disposable, single-use cups if you want to play with other people and want to ensure your set is for you only. Additionally, if you fluid bond to your cups, it’s best for your partner to have their own set. They’re very affordable so why not! The more the merrier!

Hygiene 2

The performance of the cups surprised me in the video. When I tested them previously their grip wasn’t as tight after the same amount of pumps. Right before taking the video showered and exfoliated with my favorite Korean Scrubbie Cloths. Result: exfoliation increases the performance of the cups!

I especially love the metal pressure points that these cups have. They add an extra “pain” that feels so good! I got a little distracted making the video with the cup on my arm! Imagine if I had it somewhere else!!!

Enjoy getting kinky with yourself!

The video:

I spoke a length with a friend who is living lockdown alone and I really feel for people in that position. There have been times in my life whether a partner has been ill or I've been alone that I've had to solo kink and take care of my own business. It's something that is never far from my mind and I like to think up new ways that I (or others) can kink alone.

Abrasion Play is my favorite to receive and really I can never get enough. Sometimes I have to stop because the skin can only take so much. :-(

I make a little video of two of my favorite abrasion play supplies and you can find it here:

My first livestream was so much fun but you have to have like 10 eyes to monitor everything! I'm sure it will get easier as I do it more.

I don’t expect to be running in-person events for quite some time. Here’s why and here’s the indicators I’m watching.

DISCLAIMERS!

I’m not an expert – I’m doing what I can with the information I have. Always consult experts like the CDC when forming your own opinions.

The information I’m using is current as of the time of writing and to the best of my knowledge and understanding. However, information is changing minute to minute. Seek updated sources to form your own opinions.

And of course, research facts and form your own opinions. :-)

Why No In-Person Events

First, I’m considered “at-risk”. I have asthma. I also provide care to my mother so even if I’m willing to risk it for myself, I’m not willing to risk it for her. I’m not the only player in this game and that’s something I have to keep in mind.

Next, I live in New York and currently in our Phase of Reopening restaurant tables need to be placed six feet (two meters) apart. How many can sit at any one given table is restricted. If you max a table at four people there will be a lot of separation in the group that’s meeting. Hopping from table to table as is customary at a munch is now a no-no which makes it very hard for the event organizer to greet all of the attendees. Additionally, shouting from table to table is not very discrete.

In my case, my two go-to venues are simply too small to host a munch of more than four. Perhaps eight if there’s a facilitator at each table.

Another concern I have is contact tracing. While the NYS Government only suggests an option for contact tracing if the customer is willing some restaurants are mandating it. While there’s always a risk of being outed when you’re involved in kink I feel that a lot of people will balk at giving their name, number, and other contact information for contact tracing. Plus if someone is exposed explaining how they got exposed could create difficulties for them.

My last why is liability, both legal and moral/spiritual. Organizers will bear some legal/social liability if their munch is ground zero for a new hot spot. It’s uncertain what that liability will be, but I’m not interested in taking that risk. I’m also not interested in assuming the moral/spiritual guilt/liability if someone gets Covid-19 because I just had to get my kink on. If you hold a munch or an event people will come. While there is a lot you can control, you can’t control the precautions that any given attendee will or will not take before, during, and after your event. Since I can’t ensure the precautions that attendees will take I believe the best practice at this time is to not offer physical events.

Indicators To Watch

Of course, the CDC is an ideal place to get your information. Your state’s government website is a good one as well. In New York, and for this Live Stream / Writing I’ve referred to the NYS Reopening Guidelines.

I’ve also got my eye on the Rochester Erotic Arts Festival. I’m known them to have some of the best practices in safety and I’m looking to the decisions they make and how they hold REAF to inform my next steps in physical events.

As for my state’s guidelines, I’m also looking for an easing up on the social distancing. I personally don’t expect that to happen until either a vaccine is developed or “herd immunity” is reached. These guidelines though will also inform my decisions.

Another thing to keep in mind – any kind of pot luck dinners are highly discouraged. A lot of events like to have these at their parties, and the risk of contamination is high. I’m aware of several businesses that have removed their buffets and the state mandates that condiments are in single serving only. Of course, this is for businesses and what you do in your own home may be different.

Going Forward

In the future, if things stay the same I can see the potential of invitation-only munches to maintain social distance. Outdoor munches are also a possibility but once again the distance with a large group will make conversation difficult. For vetting purposes, outdoor one-on-one meetings could be beneficial depending on your vetting processes.

Other Ideas

I read a great article on forming Social Pods where two families/households self isolate together, only interacting with each other. It takes a bit of work and a lot of trust but it allows for socialization with a decreased risk of contamination.

Risk Profiles and Consent

The problem with using your risk profile as your only metric for attending events is that Covid-19 doesn't only hurt you. Your risk profile is designed to protect you – not the people around you during this time of global pandemic. For example, your risk profile green lights smoking. However, the person sitting next to you did not consent to breathe in your smoke too. Yes, the person could move away. It’s true, you can see smoke coming. Unfortunately, you can’t see Covid-19 coming.

Your risk profile might green light attending a party where even with mask-wearing the closeness, exertion, and vocalization increases the risk of viral load. Japan has mandated no screaming on roller coasters because of just this. I believe you have to ask yourself if it’s really worth the risk of not just getting infected yourself but infecting those you love who may be at risk.

If you want to check out the Livestream where this was discussed visit here:

Feel free to share your thoughts. What indicators are you watching for?

Describe the sound that your favorite toy makes when it's being used.

My favorite toy makes a thick, deep, wet sound. Usually, because the bottom receiving the stimulation has begun to sweat. When used gently it can also make a shushing sound.

I have to admit that this week has been very busy and I've gotten my period so I haven't really been feeling like doing anything kinky. About the only thing I've done in a fetish fulfilment kind of way is to enjoy my students suffering through their phrasal verbs. Makes the sadist in me smile.

Today I engaged in a bit of self impact play with my favorite star crop. I beat my upper shoulders energetically and it feels so good! I have to confess, I have a lot of muscle tension up there so it was medicinal too! Double duty!