I've been talking about changing hard limits lately, but I want to stress that not every hard limit is meant to change. Sometimes, the most empowering thing you can do is to revisit a limit— and choose to reaffirm it.
As we grow, heal, change, or gain new experiences, it’s natural to become curious about the things we once firmly said “no” to. But curiosity doesn't always mean readiness, and reevaluation isn't a promise of change. Instead, it's a way to ask: Does this boundary still serve me? Or is it holding me back?
When you take the time to sit with a hard limit—perhaps journal about it, talk it over with a trusted partner, or explore it in fantasy—you might discover that it was shaped by something specific: a past trauma, a value system, or a former dynamic. And yet, even with more insight or distance, you may still feel a deep, embodied “no.” That’s valid. That’s wisdom.
Choosing to keep a hard limit isn't regression—it’s resistance to coercion (from others and from yourself), to people-pleasing, to overriding your instincts. It’s saying, I know myself well enough to hold this line. And that’s a powerful kind of consent: not the one that leads to action, but the one that honors your safety, dignity, and right to choose.
You’re allowed to change your limits when you want to—and you’re equally allowed to keep them.