Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe I'm not really submissive? Or maybe I'm not really HIS submissive? Maybe that is the piece I'm missing?
I am pretty sure by now, I know myself. And I'm rather confident when I say I'm 100% submissive. Before I knew what submission was, I was everyone's doormat so I never thought finding the lifestyle would help me healthily determine who I should and shouldn't submit to. Or help me realize I can love someone in a healthy way in either a vanilla relationship or a BDSM one.
I'm realizing the person I'm with makes me happy in a vanilla relationship with some BDSM play, but he's not consistently dominant and I can't keep up. I mean today something is fine, but tomorrow when he decides he wants to be dominant, and I don't fall into step, I need to "choose my battles".
Well, are we D/s or are we vanilla?
Honestly, I'm not sure who he is in the realm of BDSM. A couple of months ago I'd have had an answer but now I question.
Add this to the list of things I need to get figured out/accomplished in my 14 days off of school. :(