Letters from the Edge of Tolerance

I lost my grandpa last month. And i made my way 2000 miles to be at his funeral. I had left montana with my brother his girlfirend and my father. We drove down packed into a little sedan of a car. Now for the longest time my father had nothing but bad things to say about my oldest brother, mike jr. And constantly fed the fire for whatever ot was we had against eachother. Well the night before the funeral i slept in the car we drove down in since i helped my brother shave and taught him about wearing a suit.

Me my Brother Ted and his girlfriend made it to the viewing early. My brother mike jr. Showed up which i was dead set on making things right. Which we righted our differences. And he shed tears at the funeral. Now all of my fathers kids tried to get him to go in and make peace, but he wouldn't. Now my father is quite a piece of work to put it lightly i could write a novel series on the bad shit hes done. 

Now in our family age holds seniority and the family friend whos more family than friend, we all know as uncle butch, ill come back to him in a moment. Now at the funeral service my father wouldnt even leave the damn car he rode in. Now there were a few songs played at the funeral the first one i was fine but the second one was called grandpa tell me about the good days by the judds. I lost it and started to cry. Seven years since the last time i cried. Which was when my wife left me(for someone who will remain nameless)[my father]. But i lost it and began to cry, for the man who taught me how to be a man was no longer here. And the obly ones to confort me were my siblings and uncle butch's wife. No i walked away for a moment to collect myself since i was a pall bearer and grandaddy would have said "watchu ballin bout? Stiffen up your wasteing water in the desert." So when it came time to bury him, my father still refused to get out of the car.

Well after that was over uncle butch had heard about mike jr. And our dads qualms and wanted them to make up being the good christian man he is. Well needless to say the sperm donor ac5ed as if he was faultless. And me and my brother ted had to pull mike jr away. Uncle butched walked over and apologized  for stepping in and i stepped up saying what all he had put me the youngest of his kids through. 

But at the end of all this since ive been back home something is gone, broken or missing. And i cant seem to figure it out. I lose sleep at night, im irritable and shortfused, my personality seems different, i just dont feel like the same person i was before. I feel like a shadow of myself.

Im going to drop chapter 3 now with some added insight to my own personal beliefs, and everyone will be able to chime in with thier own opinion on it.

FAITHFULNESS

Now by definition it is someone who is loyal and reliable, steady or firm in thier actions based by belief.

On the other hand what does it have to do in the world of BDSM? What does it mean to us? Well i am going to answer this as simply as i can but also explain it.

So Faithfulness can mean different things to different people, someone who is monogamous would see Faithfulness differently than someone  who is polygamous. But between the two they have a similar meaning.

Now my grandaddy told me faithfulness is a oneway road where your true to one woman, the one you love. However i have come to learn that isnt exactly the whole truth to it. You see i have a philosophy that i live by, I will look comment and gawk (so have you) at other women, but my heart belongs to my lover (no questions asked). As long as my heart comes home it never strays. So what do i mean? And why can i say that? 

Well as a human like we all are we are bound by our primal insticts and that includes lust; I dont care who you think you are we all have looked and been like yea id tap that; lust is nothing but a base urge to procreate life, thats it. However we live in a world now where we dont have to worry about birthing many children, so we have become selective. And thus we lust after beautiful people(we all have the one famous person we want to fuck) but love our partners. 

I say this because it is often misinterpreted to be oh yea I am only going to have eyes, heart, soul and everything else for my partner, when we all know that never is the truth, however with that primal instict of lust, faithfulness comes in and says "no i am not going to sleep with that person because that would be wrong." 

Cheating is never ok, whether in a polyamourous relationship or a monogamous one, cheating can happen and it is NEVER ok. Period. Yes it can and does happen in both. 

I will go further and say that FAITHFULNESS  is even a strong point, and i would throw it into the group of being a foundation trait of a D/S relationship. There is so much that can honestly be said on this subject that i could probably go on for hours on end, but thats not what the intent here is. I want everyone who reads this to gather one thing, be faithful to your partner whether your a submissive or a dominant, be faithful and never cheat, your heart should always go home to your lover.

(DISCLAIMER: This is excludeing those who fall into swingers, traders/swappers, and those who explore this world with permission of their lover.)

Now then i apologize for the long time between the two, but this one took some thought and reflection and i decided to go on a slight tangent with this one and skip some aspects. I am going to point this one more twoards the inexperienced dominants/submissives.For the experienced individuals feel free to correct anything i get wrong in the comments, i am open to criticism, so far as it is positive.

The D/S dynamic  is very broad, it covers many aspects which can include Master/slave (M/S), Daddy Dom/ LittleGirl (DDLG), and several others.  In these dynamics its obvious that the Dominant is in control, however that control is li.ite by the the trst given to them by the submissive, DO NOT betray that trust it is the very foundation that this dynamic stands on, whithout it, this dynamic wont exist. 

Now for the submissives i always recomend to be careful who you hand control to, get to know them don jump straight into it. There is always the good ones and the bad ones, its just like life they are all around us. So be careful NEVER just jump right into a D/S relationship. If your potential DOMINANT is willing to take the time to get to know you make him even if he isn't, i say if they arent willing to wait, they only want sex. Just move along from them it will save you the heart break.

Dominants i will point this out we hold alot on our shoulders, those of us who are willing to be a switch have alot better knowledge because we can put ourselves in the shoes of our subs and ask ourselves "How would i feel if i had this done to me?" Never be afraid to ask for advice from anyone in the community and encourage your sub to remain active in the community, it is thier helpline and ours as well. We should always be striving to learn more of the world of BDSM. Learn new things, new punishments and rewards to. A reward is not necessarily just sex, you could buy them something new, maybe take them on a nice date, there is plenty you can use as a reward, or even as a punishment.

Now im going to conclude this chapter for now with an encouragement always feel free to ask me or anyone else questions we all are here to help, thats why its called community.  ENJOY! ? 

I believe that there is many things that goes i to a D/S relationship.

I believe the key points lie in several things:

Communication: This is a big one 65% of relationships end up in divorce due to lack of comunication 43% due to the inabilty to properly solve conflicts. The saying communication is key, is definitely the most note worthy, if you cant communicate your feelings, your desires, your wants, your needs, your lusts, it just isnt going to work.

Looks: looks are not really important, being sexually attracted to someone solely based on looks is nothing more than lust, no good relationship has come from just being founded on lust. A good relation ship will never be founded with this as a consideration.

Honesty: Honesty is a hard point, as a Dominant i have learned that hiding anything from my submissive is bad in every light. You should never hide anything, this ties back to the communication is key. If you cant be honest about what you feel, what you desire, or what you need, and what you have done, it isnt going to work. 20-40% of marriages end due to infidelity. Let that sink in, infidelity  covers a large spectrum thats why i mention it here. IF YOU TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM THIS SECTION ALWAYS BE HONEST EVEN IF IT HURT

Love: Now this aspect is something that really cant be explained or measured, this is a primal instinct. We all feel it, we all crave it and we all deserve it. Now I probably will beat a dead horse with this one so be ready. SUBS, YOU are intitled to this, i spent my first 4 years in this world with a mistress, and that is something i was told time and time again. You deserve it and should recieve it. Domestic violence  is not ok, sexual and physical abuse is not ok, if you dont love them or you suffer from these, SPEAK UP, AND GET OUT OF THERE. You are one of a kind you deserve the best from your Dom. DOMS, it is our responsibility to know the difference, consent is everything, and our subs deserve our love, matter of fact they need our love and want it, just show it to them treat them right. Love is honestly unmeasurable and not something that can be explained, we could spend years trying to measure it trying to explain it, but we will never be able to. It is instictive and there are many things i believe that fall into showing that you love someone.

Now this is running longer than i like so come back tomarrow for chaper two.

Life throws our way many things, they are never exactly fun, and never exactly what we want, we are here to struggle but that struggle is not meant to be in vain. We can lay there and bleed on the ground, or we can get back up and keep moving. We are 1 in 7 billion, we are unique, and we are loved. 

Its never been a matter of race, culture, relgion, or anything else. We were put here to live and die. We were put here to leave behind something better for those after us. So i ask you what is it that you leave? What is it that you WILL be remembered for? What is your legacy? What is your purpose? Why are you here?. 

These are things none of us want to ask our selves, things we dont want to think about while we are young, or old. The only time we think of it is when we know we are about to die. Why is it then that we spend our whole lives trying to avoid the things that hurt? Why do we avoid the chamce at failure? Why do we let the masses control what we think? 

Is it because we are not individuals? Is it because we can't  think for ourselves? I say bullshit, we are all different, yet we are all one people, it doesnt matter kink, race, the color of your skin, what god/s you worship, what things you have done in your past, what your goals are, what your personality is. We are all..... Different. 

We were born different, it is up to us to accept that noone is exactly like us, noone is completely perfect, unflawed, and divine. We are all corrupt, broken, flawed, and jus plain wierd. But that is what makes us who we are. We were not meant to judge eachother, we were not meant to own another (unless it is willed by the one owned), we are meant to be one people, it is the masses that tear us apart, those who are insufferable and unwilling to accept a difference in opinion, the difference in choices. 

Those are the ones that tear this world apart.

Now ive thought many years on what would have to happen i order for the whole world to achieve a utopian society, yes it is a favorite topic of mine, if you can get me going on it and hold your own we will talk for hours, in order to achieve it there would have to be a governing council, a police force, and everyone would have a job, a house, and something they are able to do, and want to do ( similar to the giver.) 

But ask your self this what is it that we as a people ; the whole world; lack?

Ask for a juicy pic if you guys want one.

So yesterday on my way intowork i was hit by another car, which completely totaled  my car.i had to sort out a new place to live as well as figure out how to deal with a couple tickets i got and find a new way to het to and from work. Unfortunately it is still a work in progress, i have found a new place to live but still no car, and no way to pay the tickets or cost for the tow.

Good morning The Cage, how is everybody this beautiful day?