i was told by someone here that although i have been in a wonderful long term marriage and have a loving, caring Husband and a tried and true relationship that does not qualify and i cannot claim to be experienced in the BDSM lifestyle because i have not been properly educated and formally trained.
Side note: This person has not ever ask about my training and education. So this is their assumption.
i have let this sit for awhile to give myself time to be satisfied that i can give an appropriate response void of negative emotion.
i have looked within myself and have discussed the dilemma with my Sir and now feel ready to publish my thoughts in our defence of this lifestyle choice.
i have made it known that i was claimed by my Sir when i was 16 years old at a teenage amateur play party of sorts before we knew of clubs or private party hosting kinky activities. We were only 16 and 17. We were teenagers witnessing the sexual revolution in the early 70's, experimenting with behavior that became a lifestyle. BDSM was hardly socially acceptable at that time when oppression of sexuality was very high and we never discussed our play as it was a taboo. But by all definition we were learning this kinky lifestyle searching and exploring with what information was available.
Another influence for me identifying as a submissive was my parents who taught me that girls were to be submissive to there man as my mother was to my Father. My parents did not practice BDSM sexually as far as i knew but i was shown and taught loving respect and servitude by my mother. My Father was the King of the Castle and my mother was the Queen but not an equal. Her position was always below my Father and she was happy and grateful to Him putting Him first in all things.
Would that count as submissive training?
Then there is my Sir, my Master. Loving, kind, loyal and a true Sadist! To my delight as i am a true masochist.
Sadist i say in the purest sense of the word. He lives and breathes getting enjoyment from inflicting pain. With every pinch, with every prod, with each humiliating name, He is excited by these acts. It brings Him happiness. But He can not behave this way with others so i offer myself to Him to satisfy His need. This is not just in sexual play but in every minute of everyday.
i am not made to kneel before Him. We share a bed. i eat at the table across from Him. But i am his slave and my happiness comes from His happiness, doing everything i can to make that happen.
Is He then my Dominant? Am i his slave/ submissive?
Our life has been a journey of lessons but what has made ours different than just a marriage commitment is that we have developed a SCS relationship, we learn and research together any new ideas to keep each other safe and always act responsibly. Our journey maybe not be public within the community but privately we recognize as a Master and His devoted slave.
i do not hold a degree or a certificate in kink. i am not advertising being able to teach or mentor others in this lifestyle, however i do embrace the philosophy, i do believe in safe practices that does require the proper training by newbies. But there is now a great amount of information available to be able to learn and practice without leaving your home. Just ask Siri or Goggle! Lol
But to discredit my dedication to the BDSM lifestyle is maybe unfair and a bit of a brash judgement.
i hope this provides a defense to my claim of being a slave to my Sir. i feel we have earned our place at this table and that everyone is different especially in their kink, as this lifestyle is unique to each individual. i mean no disrespect, everyone is entitled to their opinion, i just wish we could get past judgement of one another and truly try to understand the other side of the coin. Let's not continue to try to fit each other into a mold for identification .
i have said before:
Sometimes i worry and wonder why,
That others can not see,
The beauty in those in the world,
that are not at all like me.
i am me that's plain to see,
And you are you that's true.
But i will always extent my hand and try to see your view, if you will also be kind and give the same from you.
