- This isnt related to my dynamic or anything dealing with bdsm. No, just me... Releasing my thoughts before my brain pops💥
The email notification popped up displaying the name I fought hard to forget. Years have passed since I even heard a peep from this person, I'd rather it had stayed that way until the end of time... If I'm honest. I was frozen as I just studied the screen subconsciously biting my nails & fidgeting in my seat I contemplated what could be the conversation awaiting me. Why after all the brutality and pain all those years ago was this person reaching out to me now? My heart was pounding as I gathered my strength to face my biggest fear... Being him.
Blinking one hard time as the words came into view I immediately took notice of the statement "I need to see you". Blood starting to boil over I cursed the email as I thought Get f*n Real!! Eyes scanning the 6 paragraphs, I was hit with a flood of emotions & painful memories. This man, unmasked as my not so wonderful stepfather... Is dying. Lingering on that single word for a moment I thought back to all those times I would pray for such, beg for his life to be taken & me to finally be set free of the demons surrounding me at the hands of him.
Could this day have finally come? Was my wish finally being answered? But why am I crying? Why does my heartbreak for this news? Ugh!! Sometimes having a forgiving heart is best because the pain I'm feeling has me at war with myself.
~M.L~